Loss of interests makes life boring

You all know that I have been suffering from depression for a while now

In fact, some of you know that I sank pretty darn low at some point.

The good news is that I am technically better, I am no longer on the brink of death.  I have to admit that this blog, even though I have been somewhat quiet in the last little while has been partially responsible for my imporving.

An audience, no matter how small can make a difference, no matter what my occupational therapist was telling me.

The bad news is that I seem to have plateaued in my recovery.  Furthermore, my symptoms seem to have morphed into a new animal, but still depression.

On one hand I have become terribly confused and lost.  It's like my brain has taken a vacation and forgot to come back.  This may be a side effect of my medications.  I cannot focus and concentrate and I struggle to do what used to be so easy and simple.

On the other hand I have lost interest in so many things.

Former things that brought me joy, even small joy bring me nothing but boredom.

Things like:

• reading
• playing games online
• doing crossword puzzles
• the satisfaction of a clean house (or something like it, my house is never clean)
• cooking
• baking
• taking a walk
• drawing
• crafting
• taking a drive
• shopping
• blogging
• etc.

It has all become such a chore, so boring.  It's as if I have become massively lazy.  Before you ask, yes Sex is on that list, but I gave up on sex YEARS ago. 

Anyone have any suggestions or advice on how I can gain pleasure again?

Thanks for reading.

Motorcycles and Bicycles

If there is one thing that makes me nervous, even worst, that scares me is motorcycles and bicycles on the road.

I am so afraid I will hit one of them no matter how hard I work at being careful around them.

They seem to appear out of nowhere, behind me, beside me.

And I look, I do.

They are so small and hide in my blind spot so very well.

Days where there is rain or winter when it's snowing, they are not there and with good tires and a well running car, I much rather drive that beautiful summer days where they are out in full force.

If I have an accident for some reason during a thunderstorm or during a snow storm, all those involved are encase in steel and somewhat safe.

A person on a bike, whether it be bicycle or motorbike has no such protection.  They can die so easily, or like a former friend of mine get very very hurt.

Anyway just thought I would share.

Thanks for reading.