Accepting the Real World.

I love living in my dream land.

I think I may love it too much.  I get annoyed when my real life interferes with my dream land.

I have to work at accepting the real world and then making the most of it.

But I love my dream land.  I really really do.

In my dream land I have enough money to transform my environment to just what I like.  See this previous post for some ideas on that.

In my dream land I have enough energy to do a lot of the work that needs to be done to get my environment to where I what it.  See this post for more information.

In my dream land I have more time to dedicate to the things I love.  I work less (cause I can afford to work only part-time and have more vacations) and since I have no such thing as fibro, I need to rest less, sleep less thereby giving me all that extra time.

Also in my dream land I loose weight.  I become thin and beautiful again.  I become lovable and enjoyable.  I can do all the physical activities I like without looking weird, I can eat foods I like without getting that look they give fat people who eat fattening stuff.

In my dream land I can draw and paint beautifully.  I can also sing any song I like without causing people pain.  (My notes are not always representative of what they should be).

Every time I look at something, I see the potential of what it could be.  I see the beauty hiding under the surface.  I just don't have the means to make them all that way.

Of course in my dream land my children are perfect.  They are perfect just like I am perfect. (Perfect in my dreams, not in real life by any stretch of the imagination)

In my dream land I have the perfect lover.  Yes this might surprise some people that I dream of a relationship when I am so adamant of not wanting one in real life.

I don't want a relationship in real life because I am disgusted with myself.  I cannot be an equal and worthy partner hating myself like I do.  I am also much too fussy.  I do not want to be with a person who would be satisfied with what I am.  A person who would want me can't help but be a slob if he doesn't mind my messy home, he would not be very fit or take very well care of himself. He'd have to be a reflection of me to be satisfied with me.  I hate me, I disgust me, so I don't want a mate that is like me. So I do not want a relationship.  Makes sense right?

Back to my dream land.  Everything is so wonderful there, I hate emerging to face reality.  Reality is not fun.  It's full of work, pain, responsibilities, problems, disappointments and so on and so forth.

Thanks for reading!