Some of you know that I have started a process, for work accommodation, that involves obtaining my medical history (mental and physical) to determine my fitness for work.
About a month ago, I went to the hospital and met with various people for half a day. Prior to this meeting, I had filled out many questionnaires at home. We wound up discussing the same things for the most part but in some cases new information did emerge.
I believe this blog has helped me to come clean with medical professionals where before I would not say important things, robbing them of important information they needed. Here I have practiced opening up about all my issues. I used to not be able to talk about many of them. I was ashamed, I was told to not discuss these things. They must be hidden, a secret.
Here I broke the written wall of secrets and it helped me break the vocal wall.
This half day was only a beginning. I am meeting with another specialist later in the month to do a FULL mental history and what has been determined may be brought into question again. I will be meeting with this other specialist for 1.5 days. I will fill out many many more questionnaires. This will somewhat be a similar process that I went through with my son when they determined he was PDD-NOS.
Anyway, the initial result so far is that I am not bipolar according to the current DSM IV. The Bipolar III-NOS is not currently a valid diagnosis, it may be included in the next release of the manual but has not been accepted yet. The DSM V has been written and it set for release in 2013. This new manual changes the definition for some autism spectrum disorders as well as addiction disorders. I do not know yet is the new Bipolar will be included in this release. You can find some information about the new manual here or here
According to today's standard of diagnosis, it is Recurrent Major Depressive Disorder with chemical sensitivity to anti-depressants.
They also say that I do not currently have an eating disorder, that I most likely had one in the past and still have the mental distortion of the disorder. However, since I only think and not act I no longer qualify as having a disorder. They do recognise however that I do need assistance in changing the way I think.
They recommend contacting a dietitian and reading the following book:
In a society where a blemish or “bad hair” can ruin an otherwise perfect day and airbrushed abs dominate the magazine rack, many of us feel ashamed of our bodies. If dissatisfaction with your looks is a distressing preoccupation, this compassionate book offers a way to break free from the mirror. The author leads you through a step-by-step program that helps you fight the urge to spend hours “fixing” your skin and hair, working out, or shopping for flattering clothes. Reality-check exercises based on cognitive-behavioral therapy demonstrate how to identify unfounded beliefs about your appearance. Once you understand the negative thoughts and feelings that distort your self-image, you’ll be able to shed lengthy grooming rituals and overcome the embarrassment that keeps you from enjoying life.
I also have Social Anxiety Disorder. This has been determined due to my difficulties with doing interviews as well as my discomfort (mild word I assure you) with crowded situations. We also discussed how I avoid a variety of situations because of my discomfort. I recognise it but I am a little surprised that they did not note how dissatisfaction with my physical appearance is a large part of my discomfort.
There are several advantages to having my Social Anxiety Disorder recognised. The first is that I can get help for it. The second, I can get a medical certificate if the Disorder is the cause of not being able to do something. For example, if I want to apply for a job but the interview is too much for me to handle, I might be able to request it be done through a phone, or be allowed to have notes. Sure I will have to work on overcoming the Disorder, I get that, but until I succeed in overcoming, I have to live my life.
Also, this disorder is part of what is making my job so difficult at the moment. For years I have been coping, but it has spiralled out of control.
As far as the CFS and FM, nothing has changed. Still tired, still hurting. I am trying to do exercice but the push crash cycle hits and it's a very difficult balance to obtain.
Thanks for reading!
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