Hello Everyone!
We are almost at the end of August and this means it's the end of a few things.
For one thing, the way the weather has been going lately in my part of the world, it looks like summer will be ending a little earlier than usual this year. The nights are already quite a bit cooler, which is great for sleeping!
Unfortunately, even though I sleep better, I am still tired. I don't understand it.
Another thing that is ending (sorta) is my working part-time. As of September, my hours will be slowly increasing so that by winter I will be working full-time. I am of two minds reegarding this. On one hand, I can't help but see this as a good thing as I will have more time to do my work. I have honestly been feeling a little overwhelmed but the quantity of work that I have been doing. You see I am trying to fit in a full day of work in half the time and sometimes, that is a little bit much for me. Also, since I have trouble focussing and staying on track, I have to do my work a little slower, well a lot slower on some days. So having more time to do my work has to be a good thing.
On the other hand, I am still tired and still get some really bad days (like yesterday for example). I don't know how being at work for longer periods of time will affect me. Will I be able to take care of my home, I barely can do it now.
The thing is this part-time gig is all about my depression, which has gotten better and none of it is about my Fibromyalgia and Chronic fatigue Syndrome, which seems to have gotten worst over the last couple of months. So bases soley on my depression, I am quite ready to take on more work for sure.
My Therapies have also come to a close. They have not been as helpful as I was hoping. I have been participating full on but I think my depression has more to do than my thought patterns, they are situational too. The meds I have been taking, especially since the last increase have been helping the depression more than the therapies. I can honetly say, mood wise, that I am now having more good days then bad. The last tie my mood went really bad was when one of our foster kitties passed away from Feline Infectious Peritonitis (FIPS) about a month ago. I still very much miss him.
August 27, 2013
May 13, 2013
Working Part-Time and Still Exhausted
Hello dear readers!
How is everyone?
Well I am working part-time since January. I was supposed to be part-time only for about 3 months or so but as I am not doing as well as expected it has been prolonged till August.
In a previous post, I discussed how I don't have interests in much, well that is still going on.
I also have a really hard time focusing. But most of all I am just so friggin tired! And when you are tired, well it causes a whole lot of other issues right?
I read up on ways to become less tired. Mostly I have to sleep better, so to help I try to avoid caffeinated products past noon. Caffeine can have a half life of up to 5 hours! That means that it can still have a strong enough effect on you 8 hours after having consumed it. I read that I should stop using caffeine altogether, but lets be realistic here, there is no way I would be able to work, drive or do anything really during the withdrawal period. So the next best thing is being strategic about my intake as much as I can.
Another suggestion is to do more exercise. So I have taken up taking at least one walk per day. The walk succeeds in making me tired and it does help me fall asleep. It does not help me stay asleep all night, nor does it help me sleep well. I often don't feel like taking a walk because I am tired and my legs just are not being very cooperative. I recently even tripped on my own feet and almost fell flat on my face. Boy that would have hurt.
One of the things that could help me stay asleep is if the nighttime pain was reduced. Well the gabapentin that I am taking for my mood was helping for a while but it seems to no longer be helping. Most over the counter pain medications don't last through the night. So I am waiting for the rheumatologist referral to find a better way to manage the pain. That referral was done quite a while ago. I was told it should only take seven months but it has already been longer than that. Or has it? When you are waiting, sometimes it seems like forever. I know the referral was done sometime before the winter holidays. I think it was done before I went on sick leave. If it was then it definitely has been more than 7 months as I went on sick leave in early October 2012.
I am doing group therapy and taking a class to help manage my depression but the added effort these require make me more tired. They both have "homework" and the therapy has much more homework to do than the class. I have to read chapters of a book which I find extremely difficult to do. I also have to fit in extra activities in my week for each of the groups which is not always easy. Some people have already quit the groups and sometimes I wonder if I should not quit at least one of them. I may be pushing myself too hard in my attempt to get out of my depression that the chronic fatigue and the fibro are flaring.
But I am afraid that if I quit one of the groups that it may have a neagtive influence on my insurance. I would not be able to work only part-time and take these groups and spend so much time working on getting better if the insurance was not helping me financially.
Stress is also not good for getting a good night's rest. Though in all honestly, I really don't think I am that stressout lately. Sure I get overwhelmed by my lack of ability to focus but I am not really stressed.
I think I will leave it at that for now. Thanks for reading as always!
How is everyone?
Well I am working part-time since January. I was supposed to be part-time only for about 3 months or so but as I am not doing as well as expected it has been prolonged till August.
In a previous post, I discussed how I don't have interests in much, well that is still going on.
I also have a really hard time focusing. But most of all I am just so friggin tired! And when you are tired, well it causes a whole lot of other issues right?
I read up on ways to become less tired. Mostly I have to sleep better, so to help I try to avoid caffeinated products past noon. Caffeine can have a half life of up to 5 hours! That means that it can still have a strong enough effect on you 8 hours after having consumed it. I read that I should stop using caffeine altogether, but lets be realistic here, there is no way I would be able to work, drive or do anything really during the withdrawal period. So the next best thing is being strategic about my intake as much as I can.
Another suggestion is to do more exercise. So I have taken up taking at least one walk per day. The walk succeeds in making me tired and it does help me fall asleep. It does not help me stay asleep all night, nor does it help me sleep well. I often don't feel like taking a walk because I am tired and my legs just are not being very cooperative. I recently even tripped on my own feet and almost fell flat on my face. Boy that would have hurt.
One of the things that could help me stay asleep is if the nighttime pain was reduced. Well the gabapentin that I am taking for my mood was helping for a while but it seems to no longer be helping. Most over the counter pain medications don't last through the night. So I am waiting for the rheumatologist referral to find a better way to manage the pain. That referral was done quite a while ago. I was told it should only take seven months but it has already been longer than that. Or has it? When you are waiting, sometimes it seems like forever. I know the referral was done sometime before the winter holidays. I think it was done before I went on sick leave. If it was then it definitely has been more than 7 months as I went on sick leave in early October 2012.
I am doing group therapy and taking a class to help manage my depression but the added effort these require make me more tired. They both have "homework" and the therapy has much more homework to do than the class. I have to read chapters of a book which I find extremely difficult to do. I also have to fit in extra activities in my week for each of the groups which is not always easy. Some people have already quit the groups and sometimes I wonder if I should not quit at least one of them. I may be pushing myself too hard in my attempt to get out of my depression that the chronic fatigue and the fibro are flaring.
But I am afraid that if I quit one of the groups that it may have a neagtive influence on my insurance. I would not be able to work only part-time and take these groups and spend so much time working on getting better if the insurance was not helping me financially.
Stress is also not good for getting a good night's rest. Though in all honestly, I really don't think I am that stressout lately. Sure I get overwhelmed by my lack of ability to focus but I am not really stressed.
I think I will leave it at that for now. Thanks for reading as always!
April 23, 2013
Loss of interests makes life boring
You all know that I have been suffering from depression for a while now
In fact, some of you know that I sank pretty darn low at some point.
The good news is that I am technically better, I am no longer on the brink of death. I have to admit that this blog, even though I have been somewhat quiet in the last little while has been partially responsible for my imporving.
An audience, no matter how small can make a difference, no matter what my occupational therapist was telling me.
The bad news is that I seem to have plateaued in my recovery. Furthermore, my symptoms seem to have morphed into a new animal, but still depression.
On one hand I have become terribly confused and lost. It's like my brain has taken a vacation and forgot to come back. This may be a side effect of my medications. I cannot focus and concentrate and I struggle to do what used to be so easy and simple.
On the other hand I have lost interest in so many things.
Former things that brought me joy, even small joy bring me nothing but boredom.
Things like:
Anyone have any suggestions or advice on how I can gain pleasure again?
Thanks for reading.
In fact, some of you know that I sank pretty darn low at some point.
The good news is that I am technically better, I am no longer on the brink of death. I have to admit that this blog, even though I have been somewhat quiet in the last little while has been partially responsible for my imporving.
An audience, no matter how small can make a difference, no matter what my occupational therapist was telling me.
The bad news is that I seem to have plateaued in my recovery. Furthermore, my symptoms seem to have morphed into a new animal, but still depression.
On one hand I have become terribly confused and lost. It's like my brain has taken a vacation and forgot to come back. This may be a side effect of my medications. I cannot focus and concentrate and I struggle to do what used to be so easy and simple.
On the other hand I have lost interest in so many things.
Former things that brought me joy, even small joy bring me nothing but boredom.
Things like:
- reading
- playing games online
- doing crossword puzzles
- the satisfaction of a clean house (or something like it, my house is never clean)
- cooking
- baking
- taking a walk
- drawing
- crafting
- taking a drive
- shopping
- blogging
- etc.
Anyone have any suggestions or advice on how I can gain pleasure again?
Thanks for reading.
April 16, 2013
Motorcycles and Bicycles
If there is one thing that makes me nervous, even worst, that scares me is motorcycles and bicycles on the road.
I am so afraid I will hit one of them no matter how hard I work at being careful around them.
They seem to appear out of nowhere, behind me, beside me.
And I look, I do.
They are so small and hide in my blind spot so very well.
Days where there is rain or winter when it's snowing, they are not there and with good tires and a well running car, I much rather drive that beautiful summer days where they are out in full force.
If I have an accident for some reason during a thunderstorm or during a snow storm, all those involved are encase in steel and somewhat safe.
A person on a bike, whether it be bicycle or motorbike has no such protection. They can die so easily, or like a former friend of mine get very very hurt.
Anyway just thought I would share.
Thanks for reading.
I am so afraid I will hit one of them no matter how hard I work at being careful around them.
They seem to appear out of nowhere, behind me, beside me.
And I look, I do.
They are so small and hide in my blind spot so very well.
Days where there is rain or winter when it's snowing, they are not there and with good tires and a well running car, I much rather drive that beautiful summer days where they are out in full force.
If I have an accident for some reason during a thunderstorm or during a snow storm, all those involved are encase in steel and somewhat safe.
A person on a bike, whether it be bicycle or motorbike has no such protection. They can die so easily, or like a former friend of mine get very very hurt.
Anyway just thought I would share.
Thanks for reading.
March 23, 2013
Driving and Cars
Recently we have had snow just as spring was starting. A lot of snow for just the start of spring and it brought to mind some peeves I have.
The main peeve is people not clearing the snow off their cars!
How hard is it to clear the snow off your car people?
Do you not realize that not clearing the snow off your car is not only a hazard for yourself, it's also a hazard for the people around you as the blowing snowing coming off your car can cause some visibility problems for the people driving behind you.
It takes just a few minutes to brush off the snow at most. Why take the chance?
Another peeve is tailgating.
If you always have to brake while the person in front of you does not, it's a sign you are either following too close or going too fast. Yes I get it that the person in front of you may be going too slow, but tailgating is not the solution. If the person in front of you has to brake suddely for something you did not see because you were just following too close, are you sure you have the time to brake as well? I admit having someone right in my rear end makes me nervous, but will not make me speed just to satisfy their need for speed. For the record, I am not a "slow" driver.
Also is it just me or have today's drivers gotten more reckless and impatient?
I don't think I have ever heard so many horns blasting (and no not just at me). I know I drive more carefully, I take more time merging and such, I want to be safe but seriously? Pressing on the gas angrily because I chose to drive safely is doing no one any favours.
I see more slaloming as well. Do you really get to where you are going that much faster? Doesn't being stopped by a cop for a ticket slow you down much more than taking your time? Doesn't being involved in an accident delay you?
I am not a horrible driver nor an overly cautious one. I am a regular run of the mill driver. There are a lot worst than me out there, I just don't drive "stupid". I use to love going out for a drive but now, at times it scares me because of those that drive so aggressively and with so little disregard for other drivers.
I took courses to allow me to drive in the worst of weathers as well as for high speed. But none of those courses can save me from a driver that takes their own safety for granted. A car is a killing machine. It kills more people every day than guns. It seems like people forget that.
Well that is my two cents worst. Be safe out there.
Thanks for reading.
The main peeve is people not clearing the snow off their cars!
How hard is it to clear the snow off your car people?
Do you not realize that not clearing the snow off your car is not only a hazard for yourself, it's also a hazard for the people around you as the blowing snowing coming off your car can cause some visibility problems for the people driving behind you.
It takes just a few minutes to brush off the snow at most. Why take the chance?
Another peeve is tailgating.
If you always have to brake while the person in front of you does not, it's a sign you are either following too close or going too fast. Yes I get it that the person in front of you may be going too slow, but tailgating is not the solution. If the person in front of you has to brake suddely for something you did not see because you were just following too close, are you sure you have the time to brake as well? I admit having someone right in my rear end makes me nervous, but will not make me speed just to satisfy their need for speed. For the record, I am not a "slow" driver.
Also is it just me or have today's drivers gotten more reckless and impatient?
I don't think I have ever heard so many horns blasting (and no not just at me). I know I drive more carefully, I take more time merging and such, I want to be safe but seriously? Pressing on the gas angrily because I chose to drive safely is doing no one any favours.
I see more slaloming as well. Do you really get to where you are going that much faster? Doesn't being stopped by a cop for a ticket slow you down much more than taking your time? Doesn't being involved in an accident delay you?
I am not a horrible driver nor an overly cautious one. I am a regular run of the mill driver. There are a lot worst than me out there, I just don't drive "stupid". I use to love going out for a drive but now, at times it scares me because of those that drive so aggressively and with so little disregard for other drivers.
I took courses to allow me to drive in the worst of weathers as well as for high speed. But none of those courses can save me from a driver that takes their own safety for granted. A car is a killing machine. It kills more people every day than guns. It seems like people forget that.
Well that is my two cents worst. Be safe out there.
Thanks for reading.
March 1, 2013
Three Cents Worth: Author Interview: Bruno Lombardi
Three Cents Worth: Author Interview: Bruno Lombardi: Today, I'm interviewing Bruno Lombardi , who contributed A Thursday Night at Doctor What's Time and Relative Dimensional Space Bar ...
February 27, 2013
Luck Not A-Changing
Today, when I woke up I checked my bank account to see if my Insurance had come in. Not only did my insurance not come in but neither did my paycheck.
I had desperately been waiting for this pay and my insurance payout. If you have read my last posts, you know that finances have been tight over the last month, more than tight.
Well it seems that another person made a mistake. This mistake was a doozy too. This one mistake affected my insurance and my pay.
At work, every two weeks I have to fill out these three time sheets (not one, not two but THREE!) These time sheets are given to my manager for his signature. Once signed they are given to HR who then scans them and emails them to compensation who then inputs them in two systems and sends them to my insurance for their processing.
Well I have been doing the three time sheets every two weeks and giving them to my manager. My manager has been signing them and sending them to HR. From there things have gone wrong. Three weeks later they made it to compensation so they never did my pay and they never advised my insurance.
To fix this will take 10 to 14 business days.
Yeah, two weeks! I am owed so much money right now it's not funny in the slightest. Two months of insurance and one pay. I also did my taxes and I have an amount owed. When all this comes in, it will be nice but that is when, in two weeks for the start of it coming in. I need money NOW!
I know I shouldn't write about this here. I should just stay quiet about all this on the internet, but as you also know I have very little to say otherwise.
Besides, I have been checking my stats... very few are reading this anyway (thanks to those of you that do), it's actually quite and intimate forum.
Well thanks for reading.
I had desperately been waiting for this pay and my insurance payout. If you have read my last posts, you know that finances have been tight over the last month, more than tight.
Well it seems that another person made a mistake. This mistake was a doozy too. This one mistake affected my insurance and my pay.
At work, every two weeks I have to fill out these three time sheets (not one, not two but THREE!) These time sheets are given to my manager for his signature. Once signed they are given to HR who then scans them and emails them to compensation who then inputs them in two systems and sends them to my insurance for their processing.
Well I have been doing the three time sheets every two weeks and giving them to my manager. My manager has been signing them and sending them to HR. From there things have gone wrong. Three weeks later they made it to compensation so they never did my pay and they never advised my insurance.
To fix this will take 10 to 14 business days.
Yeah, two weeks! I am owed so much money right now it's not funny in the slightest. Two months of insurance and one pay. I also did my taxes and I have an amount owed. When all this comes in, it will be nice but that is when, in two weeks for the start of it coming in. I need money NOW!
I know I shouldn't write about this here. I should just stay quiet about all this on the internet, but as you also know I have very little to say otherwise.
Besides, I have been checking my stats... very few are reading this anyway (thanks to those of you that do), it's actually quite and intimate forum.
Well thanks for reading.
February 23, 2013
Posts Getting Sporadic
Hello everyone!
Life seems to get away from me.
Even though I do very little, since I have been back at work part-time, it feels like I don't have time for anything anymore, including coming here to write about what is going on.
Work has been busy and making me pretty tired, I have a hard time doing my four hour shift, I can't imagine when soon I will start being full-time. When I get home, I don't want to do anything. I am getting behind in my housework...
I have been continuing my therapies. So far I don't know that they are working.
My foster cats are not getting adopted, in fact one of my cats is still fighting with one of the fosters so I have to keep him isolated. The fosters that I have currently are Pepsi, Sylver and Valentine. I have had some visitors but no takers.
As for finances - UGH!
Why do things have to be do complicated, so difficult?
My pays have had some clawbacks for vacation time I took that I was not entitled to get, making my part-time pay much lower than it would have been. Also there was some mistake done with my insurance so I was not covered for January so I am much poorer than when I was on EI, especially considering the extra expenses involved with working like gas and parking... The house is almost out of food.
I have been working with getting the mistakes with my insurance corrected and hopefully it will work. The mistake is that someone from my compensation department does not know the difference between last day paid and last day actually worked. That made a difference of 3 weeks! Delaying my coverage from 3 weeks. Considering the clawbacks on my pay meaning I could have qualified for extra EI had we known but now I just have to somehow cope with less money.
Why do things need to be so complicated? So difficult? So confusing? Why can't things just be simple, easy?
I keep thinking of how things could be so much worst. Some people have it much worst so I have to keep reminding myself of that.
Thanks for reading and sorry for unloading.
Life seems to get away from me.
Even though I do very little, since I have been back at work part-time, it feels like I don't have time for anything anymore, including coming here to write about what is going on.
Work has been busy and making me pretty tired, I have a hard time doing my four hour shift, I can't imagine when soon I will start being full-time. When I get home, I don't want to do anything. I am getting behind in my housework...
I have been continuing my therapies. So far I don't know that they are working.
My foster cats are not getting adopted, in fact one of my cats is still fighting with one of the fosters so I have to keep him isolated. The fosters that I have currently are Pepsi, Sylver and Valentine. I have had some visitors but no takers.
As for finances - UGH!
Why do things have to be do complicated, so difficult?
My pays have had some clawbacks for vacation time I took that I was not entitled to get, making my part-time pay much lower than it would have been. Also there was some mistake done with my insurance so I was not covered for January so I am much poorer than when I was on EI, especially considering the extra expenses involved with working like gas and parking... The house is almost out of food.
I have been working with getting the mistakes with my insurance corrected and hopefully it will work. The mistake is that someone from my compensation department does not know the difference between last day paid and last day actually worked. That made a difference of 3 weeks! Delaying my coverage from 3 weeks. Considering the clawbacks on my pay meaning I could have qualified for extra EI had we known but now I just have to somehow cope with less money.
Why do things need to be so complicated? So difficult? So confusing? Why can't things just be simple, easy?
I keep thinking of how things could be so much worst. Some people have it much worst so I have to keep reminding myself of that.
Thanks for reading and sorry for unloading.
February 4, 2013
Potholes
Hello all,
I have been back at work a month now and I've done a few things here and there. I think I have made some mistakes too.
The hardest has been the commute. I hate having to drive to and from work. I don't bus cause I hated bussing even more, besides, with the fibro now that is not overly feasable most days.
My commute is 20 minutes on a good day, 45 minutes most days, due to traffic.
I leave home 1 hour before my shift starts. Ughhhh.
Last week, during my regular commute, I almost had an accident twice and hit a crater-like pothole on my way to work, and all this on the SAME DAY!
So now my car is damaged until I can figure out how to pay the repair costs. I took care of the more urgent but less pricey part of the repairs (Smashed rim and damaged tire) but the suspension is a little more complexe to take care of right now.
The news said there were 16 other cars, but those are the ones that did stick around to be counted like me, how many others were victims of this pothole?
I filed a claim with the city to cover the costs of the repairs. I am sure many more will file claims too as the newspaper article about this nasty pothole advised to file a claim as the city had been aware of the pothole for hours before the morning rush hour and could have done something to prevent so many vehicles from being damaged.
The garage I went to said that I wasted my time in filing a claim for the damage, that the city is unlikely to shell out any money, that they do everything to not have to pay, including dragging on the issue for months, and sometimes years. It's worth a try. I could also file a claim with my own insurance but the repercussions of filing this claim on my insurance, including the deductable is unsavory.
So now my commute, using a different route for the moment, is that much more exciting.
Also, as some of you know I have been fostering a cat which had been fighting with my other cats. Well he has calmed down considerably but one of MY cats (Trix) has not forgiven him for his scrappy beginnings and still initiates fights with him. Well Sylver the foster will give as good as he gets in a fight and bit Trix in the face. The bite developped into an abcess. Now Trix has this big gaping wound in his face a bit smaller than a dime.
We brought him to be checked out by the vet and they shaved him to uncover the wound (poor thing lost his whiskers) and cleaned the wound. He's got antibiotics and needs to go back to be checked in a little over a week.
It's been and interesting few weeks.
Thanks for reading.
I have been back at work a month now and I've done a few things here and there. I think I have made some mistakes too.
The hardest has been the commute. I hate having to drive to and from work. I don't bus cause I hated bussing even more, besides, with the fibro now that is not overly feasable most days.
My commute is 20 minutes on a good day, 45 minutes most days, due to traffic.
I leave home 1 hour before my shift starts. Ughhhh.
Last week, during my regular commute, I almost had an accident twice and hit a crater-like pothole on my way to work, and all this on the SAME DAY!
So now my car is damaged until I can figure out how to pay the repair costs. I took care of the more urgent but less pricey part of the repairs (Smashed rim and damaged tire) but the suspension is a little more complexe to take care of right now.
The news said there were 16 other cars, but those are the ones that did stick around to be counted like me, how many others were victims of this pothole?
I filed a claim with the city to cover the costs of the repairs. I am sure many more will file claims too as the newspaper article about this nasty pothole advised to file a claim as the city had been aware of the pothole for hours before the morning rush hour and could have done something to prevent so many vehicles from being damaged.
 |
| One of the dents in the rim |
The garage I went to said that I wasted my time in filing a claim for the damage, that the city is unlikely to shell out any money, that they do everything to not have to pay, including dragging on the issue for months, and sometimes years. It's worth a try. I could also file a claim with my own insurance but the repercussions of filing this claim on my insurance, including the deductable is unsavory.
So now my commute, using a different route for the moment, is that much more exciting.
Also, as some of you know I have been fostering a cat which had been fighting with my other cats. Well he has calmed down considerably but one of MY cats (Trix) has not forgiven him for his scrappy beginnings and still initiates fights with him. Well Sylver the foster will give as good as he gets in a fight and bit Trix in the face. The bite developped into an abcess. Now Trix has this big gaping wound in his face a bit smaller than a dime.
We brought him to be checked out by the vet and they shaved him to uncover the wound (poor thing lost his whiskers) and cleaned the wound. He's got antibiotics and needs to go back to be checked in a little over a week.
It's been and interesting few weeks.
Thanks for reading.
January 27, 2013
Life Goes On
As you know I am back at work and my silver lining luck is holding out.
What is silver lining luck you say? Sounds good does it not?
Silver lining luck is bad luck with a silver lining. Bad luck that could have been worst but was saved from the worst scenario by a smidgen.
Last time I had to file my EI report for my last week of EI, I had to call then because I declared that I had returned to work the second week of my report. It took a few days to reach them so my half payment was delayed by a few days.
Last week I found out that my paycheck would be delayed (or reduced?) as I had an over-payment of vacation.
I have no money and bad things happen but it could be a lot worst. For example, I have food to feed us, I have a roof over our head and during the worst of the deep freeze we were warm. I also have a car that works, has good tires and gas in it. Now I am scared that insurance will not cover me as I probably screwed up the phone interview but at least my part-time pays as much as full EI. It would be nice to have more as my bills are more and the cost of going to work (gas\parking) is putting a further strain on my budget, it could definitely be worst.
Another new thing that is happening is that I have started group therapy for social phobia. It's too early to tell if it will work yet but we seem to have a good group. By their reaction to some things I can tell we have a lot in common. By the end of the first session, their was already some small bit of bonding going on (that's pretty good for people dealing with social anxiety disorder). I did sign a confidentiality agreement so there is a lot that I can't share, but I can admit to being in a group. I have hopes that this group will help with my discomfort around people. It may not cure the revulsion part. (Natural part of a person who doesn't like people over much working in client service for too many years.)
On a side note, it's almost tax time. I hate doing my taxes but I LOVE getting refunds. I hope I will get a refund again this year, it will help a lot.
Well that's it for now, thanks for reading!
What is silver lining luck you say? Sounds good does it not?
Silver lining luck is bad luck with a silver lining. Bad luck that could have been worst but was saved from the worst scenario by a smidgen.
Last time I had to file my EI report for my last week of EI, I had to call then because I declared that I had returned to work the second week of my report. It took a few days to reach them so my half payment was delayed by a few days.
Last week I found out that my paycheck would be delayed (or reduced?) as I had an over-payment of vacation.
I have no money and bad things happen but it could be a lot worst. For example, I have food to feed us, I have a roof over our head and during the worst of the deep freeze we were warm. I also have a car that works, has good tires and gas in it. Now I am scared that insurance will not cover me as I probably screwed up the phone interview but at least my part-time pays as much as full EI. It would be nice to have more as my bills are more and the cost of going to work (gas\parking) is putting a further strain on my budget, it could definitely be worst.
Another new thing that is happening is that I have started group therapy for social phobia. It's too early to tell if it will work yet but we seem to have a good group. By their reaction to some things I can tell we have a lot in common. By the end of the first session, their was already some small bit of bonding going on (that's pretty good for people dealing with social anxiety disorder). I did sign a confidentiality agreement so there is a lot that I can't share, but I can admit to being in a group. I have hopes that this group will help with my discomfort around people. It may not cure the revulsion part. (Natural part of a person who doesn't like people over much working in client service for too many years.)
On a side note, it's almost tax time. I hate doing my taxes but I LOVE getting refunds. I hope I will get a refund again this year, it will help a lot.
Well that's it for now, thanks for reading!
January 12, 2013
Back @ Work
My return to work has been so far fairly uninteresting for anyone, including myself.
Sunday to Monday night I barely slept, I was so so very nervous. I go up extra early to start getting ready and wound up watching TV for a few hours.
I get to work and I get a lot of uncomfortable questions from people like "How are you?" and "Are you happy to be back?"
My boss tried to cage the extend of my limitations by asking question about what kind of activities involve stressful reactions.
Duh, the letter said so, I can't take calls. I can do anything that doesn't involve having to deal with people.
People are my stressors. He doesn't need to know that I have social phobia. He needs to know that I have a medical reason for avoiding taking calls from irate or difficult clients. I mentioned to him that the job description which was being used was very out of date and did not include the new program or the increased back up.
Anyway, so for the week i was given very little to do, which was good on Friday but not the other days.
On Friday, I was sick. I could barely stay awake at work, I could not read or focus for the life of my and was scared driving home in the freezing rain feeling like that.
When I got home I crashed for the next 18 hours (almost). I did wake up to give medications to a cat I am currently babysitting, take my pills but otherwise, I slept and was pretty much out of it until Saturday morning.
Well that' it, thanks for reading.
Sunday to Monday night I barely slept, I was so so very nervous. I go up extra early to start getting ready and wound up watching TV for a few hours.
I get to work and I get a lot of uncomfortable questions from people like "How are you?" and "Are you happy to be back?"
My boss tried to cage the extend of my limitations by asking question about what kind of activities involve stressful reactions.
Duh, the letter said so, I can't take calls. I can do anything that doesn't involve having to deal with people.
People are my stressors. He doesn't need to know that I have social phobia. He needs to know that I have a medical reason for avoiding taking calls from irate or difficult clients. I mentioned to him that the job description which was being used was very out of date and did not include the new program or the increased back up.
Anyway, so for the week i was given very little to do, which was good on Friday but not the other days.
On Friday, I was sick. I could barely stay awake at work, I could not read or focus for the life of my and was scared driving home in the freezing rain feeling like that.
When I got home I crashed for the next 18 hours (almost). I did wake up to give medications to a cat I am currently babysitting, take my pills but otherwise, I slept and was pretty much out of it until Saturday morning.
Well that' it, thanks for reading.
January 2, 2013
Having Little to Say
Hello all
Happy new year.
I apologize for my time away, also for restricting my blog temporarily.
You see I have had very little to say in the last little while that was not a mere repetition of what I have previously already said.
There are just so many ways you can say the same thing without just becoming dull as, well what exactly is that dull?
I am going back to work soon and my return is already not going very smoothly. Also, the new year has not started very well either as my son's laptop has broken.
I am due back at work on the 7th of January. It scares me. I am not sure I am quite ready but I have to face the music eventually. I am to go back part time, which will pay about the same as when I was on Employment Insurance. I hope to qualify for my insurance to pay the balance but I have yet to know if that will be the case. There are no guaranties you see.
Some limitations and accommodations are suggested for my return as I should not yet deal with difficult clients as I have yet to start my therapies. These things take time. If they cannot accommodate me then I may not be able to return as quickly, so the insurance will become paramount.
I am still not sleeping very well and the times I sleep best are in the morning. Unfortunately, it's morning I am to work. Maybe I will be able to change it later if it's not working. We'll see...
I am on medications and they are helping with my mood but I am still wrought with moments of anxiety and despair at times, so fearful of setting the house on fire. Needless to say I still struggle with my self esteem.
It's unbelievable that I have already been off work for three months. I have done so little. Time has flown.
I will let you know how things go once I am back at work.
Thanks for reading.
Happy new year.
I apologize for my time away, also for restricting my blog temporarily.
You see I have had very little to say in the last little while that was not a mere repetition of what I have previously already said.
There are just so many ways you can say the same thing without just becoming dull as, well what exactly is that dull?
I am going back to work soon and my return is already not going very smoothly. Also, the new year has not started very well either as my son's laptop has broken.
I am due back at work on the 7th of January. It scares me. I am not sure I am quite ready but I have to face the music eventually. I am to go back part time, which will pay about the same as when I was on Employment Insurance. I hope to qualify for my insurance to pay the balance but I have yet to know if that will be the case. There are no guaranties you see.
Some limitations and accommodations are suggested for my return as I should not yet deal with difficult clients as I have yet to start my therapies. These things take time. If they cannot accommodate me then I may not be able to return as quickly, so the insurance will become paramount.
I am still not sleeping very well and the times I sleep best are in the morning. Unfortunately, it's morning I am to work. Maybe I will be able to change it later if it's not working. We'll see...
I am on medications and they are helping with my mood but I am still wrought with moments of anxiety and despair at times, so fearful of setting the house on fire. Needless to say I still struggle with my self esteem.
It's unbelievable that I have already been off work for three months. I have done so little. Time has flown.
I will let you know how things go once I am back at work.
Thanks for reading.
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