Utter Exhaustion

Hello all,

Wow, two posts within a week!  AMAZING! 

I know.  I have found something "acceptable" to write about.  Imagine that.

Is it interesting?  Maybe or maybe not, that really is up to you to decide.  Is it whiny?  I think so, so if you do not want to read about whining STOP right here.  It will only get worst from here on out.

I am tired.  Really really tired.  All the time tired.  I can easily sleep the day away.

I am in a Chronic Fatigue Flare.  It is very very hard for me to do my day.  Of course added to the exhaustion is the pain, but really even though I hurt, and indeed the other day I could have sworn I had been hit by a bus, it's the tiredness that gets to me.

You can explain pain to people and to some extent they understand.

I find it very hard to explain this tiredness to people.  When explaining, to me it just sounds more like I am being lazy.

I want (though not overly motivated) to do my work, I want to read, I want to write, I want to watch TV and be able to tell someone what I have just watched.  I want to drive and not be terrified that I will not see something crucial and cause a major accident.  I want to be up from morning to night without having to take a nap.

Coffee just doesn't do it anymore and not having coffee just means that I can't stay awake at all.  Without coffee I would fall asleep at work, fall asleep at the wheel while driving fall asleep just about anywhere.

I don't have any energy.  Going up stairs is a martyr, I just want to take a nap once I get to the top.  I am afraid of tumbling down stairs I am so tired.

Wikipedia explains Chronic Fatigue Syndrome this way: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chronic_fatigue_syndrome.

Unrefreshing sleep, post exertional malaise.  What do these mean to the common person who doesn't have this issue?

I am being told to go to bed later by my psychiatrist to help me sleep better at night and solve this exhaustion I feel.  But she is trying to treat the depression, not the chronic fatigue (CFS).  The depression and the CFS are very linked in that the less I can do, the more tired I am the more depressed I tend to be as I just can't accept this current state.

I am tired.  So tired, my home is messy after it being clean just a week ago.  I have been resting trying to recover from the holidays and the prep for it.

I did two days of cleaning and prep work for having company, stayed up later, cooked a feast for my family and made it but now I have trouble taking down the decorations, doing everyday cleaning, the cat litters need to be done, the dishes, the vacuuming, the laundry etc etc etc.

The other day I just couldn't get up and going, I was in pain yes, a lot of pain but the exhaustion was so much worst than the pain, I called in sick from work and stayed in bed almost all day.  I hate days like that.