Sodium

Lately I have been obsessed with the thought of sodium in my food.  I can even taste the saltiness in foods where before I did not particularly taste it.

I look at the sodium content on food packages and at times I am shocked and astounded by the sheer quantity of sodium in the foods we eat everyday, the food we think are healthy.

Take for example whole wheat nachos...

You'd think that by making it whole wheat it would be healthier, and it is, by a smidgen.  I was comparing the nutrition content on the packages and the whole wheat option had MORE sodium than the "bad" regular nachos.

Why is it necessary to add so much sodium to foods?  Our bodies definitely don't need it, in fact it's bad to have too much!

Even if we respect serving sizes, by eating many prepared foods, we exceed out daily quotas by so much it's unbelievable.  Since I have been on sick leave (which is ending in a few short weeks) I have had more time to actually cook, so I am sure my body is benefiting from it.

I use very little salt in my cooking. always have, which is good since prepared food, the stuff I usually wind up making when I work for its convenience is so full of sodium.


Hummmm food for thought.



Thanks for reading!

The Holidays are Coming

Yup they are coming fast!

Holidays are not amazing things for people like me.  I am making an effort, spending money even though I have a special levy and need new tires.  Oh well, what's more debt?

I'll celebrate on the 21 with my kids and do Xmas with the rest of my family.  Both will be minimal.

I have decorated.  Done a tree, lights outside, some things here and there.  Made an effort.

My mom will be visiting with her friend, she will be here for a few days.

Then I have to get ready to go back to work even though it terrifies me.  I am not ready to serve the public quite yet but my leave is at an end.  Just thinking about it makes me shake.  I am such a wimp.

I've changed a few things around the house, pictures, decorations.  Make it more homey, somewhat.

I don't have much to say yet say too much.  Takes talent to do that!  I am working on correcting that.

So that being said, I'll leave it at that, having said already too much.

Thanks for reading.

Complications

As you know, I am on sick leave till January and have applied for EI.

Well things are not going too well on that front.

I have been filing my reports, every week and two weeks... fastiduously since I stopped working, even for when I knew I would not qualify.

Eventually, work sent my ROE to EI.  3 weeks later.  It was determined that I qualified from October 28th.

As I was paid sick leave for the 29th, that was declared on both my ROE and my report.

At first they said since I was getting sick leave for the whole two weeks that I would not qualify.  I called to have that fixed.  Thought it was fixed.  She told me that on Thursday I would get the payment fot the first week and on Friday I would get my payment for the second week.

By the end of Thursday I had not gotten the money, figured it would be paid on Friday.

Friday I look at my account and see the second week but not the first.

So I call.  They say that I had gotten earnings from working plus sick day so I qualified for nothing

I say I did not work or earn, they blame it on my ROE.  Call my advisor to send in a corrected ROE.  I contact my advisor, she says the ROE is correct.

She calls her support, spoke to Carole and had it confirmed that it was correctly done, I have to call back.

I call back and I get a third story, seems there was a new data entry error, something was not corrected.

Patty put me on hold to figure out how to correct it.

They all agree (the four people I spoke to, 2 the first day, 2 the second time) that I qualify for a little over 200 for that week but none can get it resolved it seems.

Mind you everytime I call I am on hold for 20-30 minutes...

Why can't my life be simple?

I would not need sick leave at all if my life was simple!

Thanks for reading.

An Update on Wind Mobile.

Please read this post first :http://livingonapendulum.blogspot.ca/2012/07/my-new-phone.html



Re: Regarding the $200 service credit promo [T20121029005NS010Z843493]

GeneralInquiry@windmobile.ca	Nov 7 (4 days ago)		Reply to me

Hello Marie-Louise,

Thank you for contacting WIND Mobile. I've taken a look into the account history and I found that you issue is still being investigated by our Back Office. We will contact you once everything has been sorted out. If you have any additional questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to contact us again via email. Alternatively, you could dial 611 on your WIND handset or call us, toll free, at 1-877-946-3184.

Thank you for choosing WIND,
Have a great day,
Pasquale
WIND Specialist 


--- Original Message --- 
On November 6, 2012 at 7:35 AM, "Marie-Louise" <@gmail.com> wrote:



Hello,



I am writing to advise you that the issue has NOT been resolved, the credit is NOT on my invoice. 



On Mon, Oct 29, 2012 at 1:04 PM, <info@windmobile.ca> wrote: 



Hello Marie-Louise,

I am writing to advise you that the issue you were experiencing with the $200 service credit promo has been resolved.

You will be receiving your credits on your next invoice.

If you have any further questions or concerns, feel free to get back in touch with us by calling 1-877-946-3184.






WIND Cares
611 ? from your WIND phone
1-877-946-3184



Remember: You can always view your bills, check payment history, data usage, and more all online at: http://www.windmobile.ca/myaccount



Re: Regarding our Twitter conversation [T201210160085S010Z836144]

GeneralInquiry@windmobile.ca	Oct 24		Reply to me

Hello Marie-Louise,

Thank you for contactign WIND. I apologize for the delay however your case is still being looked at by our back office team. You will be contacted by one of our representatives as soon as we have a resolution.

Again, thank you for contacting WIND and have a great day!

WIND Cares Team http://www.windmobile.ca 
http://twitter.com/windmobile 
http://www.facebook.com/WINDmobile



                                  
**Reminder** you can pay your bills/top up, check your payment history/usage, and more all by dialing *123# from your WIND phone or by logging into your account athttp://www.windmobile.ca/myaccount

BTW  I thought this was interesting...






Re: Wind Mobile

Marie-Louise  @gmail.com

Oct 18

Reply to ottsun.city

Thank you for finally replying though I will respectfully disagree.   I read stories about corporations abusing their power in newspapers on a daily basis, including yours. It has also been proven that when a company feels threatened to their bottom line they become more cooperative.   I can only assume that this story is a conflict of interest for the sun.
I will keep looking.

Re: Wind Mobile

ottsun.city@sunmedia.ca	Oct 18		Reply to me

Hi "Marie-Louise"



Thanks for the reminder.



Although you have a beef with Wind, we really don't get involved in customer disputes. Honestly, most companies do not respond to media coverage. They're not all of a sudden going to fix things because the Ottawa Sun decides to write a story. And we're not there to mediate disputes.



Good luck with them.



Regards



Don


Don Ermen
Deputy Editor
Digital & Print
Ottawa Sun
613-739-5112
@ottawasuncom



----- Original Message -----
From: "Marie-Louise" <@gmail.com>
To: "ottsun city" <ottsun.city@sunmedia.ca>
Sent: Thursday, October 18, 2012 11:05:10 AM
Subject: Re: Wind Mobile



Hello,

What are my chances or getting a response to this email?




On Sat, Oct 13, 2012 at 9:29 AM, Marie-Louise  < @gmail.com > wrote:

Hello,

I tweeted for assistance and was told to submit my story idea to this email address.

I am having a severe customer service issue with Wind Mobile. Some of my friends, though disgusted with what I am going through are making jokes about my troubles,

I agree going through so much hassled does start to make a person sound a bit looney. I tend to bring out the worst in companies, but eventually, I manage to get them to do the right thing. With Wind nothing seems to be working so I am doing the unthinkable, reaching out to the Media for assistance...

One lone client doesn't matter, you can abuse them and if they leave you lose just what 50 a month... it's a drop in the bucket... why care about the client?


But maybe with you help, they'll care a little more.



Now I am giving you a link to my blog... I wrote everything there, , let me know what you think...


http://livingonapendulum.blogspot.ca/2012/07/my-new-phone.html


http://livingonapendulum.blogspot.ca/2012/08/wind-mobile-saga-continues.html


http://livingonapendulum.blogspot.ca/2012/08/wind-mobile-still-waiting-for-resolution.html

Thanks 

Money Matters and Other Stuff.

So payday came and went without any deposit of any kind in my bank account.  I was expecting to have a deposit of 3 days, my last deposit from work but that did not happen.

I tried to log in to My Service Canada Account, they changed the login credentials and do not recognize my server as being secure. I wanted to find out the status of my claim for EI as my work was finally supposed to send in my forms.  So I called the toll free number and find out that they have not received my forms yet and my application timed out.  I must now go to a local centre to start it back up again, I hope this does not cause too many delays as according to my form I received a pay this week (but didn't)

So a little stressed out.  I have my line of credit to pay my mortgage and I did buy enough food to last a month or two so we are OK for now, but not for long.

Also, I am still awaiting my insurance reimbursement for my oral surgery.I hope to get it before a LOC payment is due.

My son's laptop finally died.  The same day (or the next, not sure) he finds an old laptop in the garbage.   which he was able to upgrade.  This laptop, even though it has it's share of problem is better than his former Laptop.

 I've been filling out insurance papers for assistance once the waiting period is due.  I will need to send a copy to my family physician as well as something for my psychiatrist. Of course I will need to pay each doctor to fill out the form, unless my family doctor can get the information from my psychiatrist he needs to discuss previous sick leaves.  They are asking for medical history for the last 5 years .

Shit I can't even remember what I did yesterday!  Also they want to know when my symptoms first appeared.  With chronic conditions like mine, that's a little tough so I decided to go with when they got worst.

3 years ago when I quit smoking.  I was having problems before that but that's when things spiraled and never got back.

These papers are for income replacement is either my leave gets prolonged OR for my progressive return to work.

Speaking of return to work, I went to see my psychiatrist yesterday.  She was discussing that I return to work now at 4 days a week.

SHIIITTTTT!

WTF!

Pardon my language!

I want help, I need help.  Flipping at her would not have been acceptable but  is it too much to ask that she be aware of my case when we see each other?

I know she has a lot of clients.  She can't remember all of them.  I know that, but maybe she can have some kind of quick notes that she reads and adjusts as needed to read before she sees a client?

She has receive reports from two sources that I am not bipolar, yet she keeps trying to treat my conditions as such.  She has received reports of suggested treatments but ignores them (anti-depressants).  She's got reports from 3 sources that I have issues with my eating and physical appearance but prescribes stuff that makes me gain weight, putting me at risk of a relapse.

She also forgets that she is not the one that put me on sick leave.  That was the Health Canada doctor and my family physician.  My sick leave has much more to do than me being bipolar...

I accepted the sacrifices needed to get better, I can't go back now before I start getting better, before therapy and rheumatologist  have begun.  If I go back now before anything happens, I lost income and my parking at work for nothing.  I lost all my vacation days and sick leave for nothing.  I will only go back to spiral at a greater speed.

For her to suggest I return to work now, at 4 days a week with my social phobia in full swing, to a job in client services, how can she keep her license?

Well that is it for now,

Thanks for reading, as always.

The Library = Another Dream

Hello all,

Just finished week number 4 of sick leave.  This means that I get no more sick days from work and will have to subsist on EI from now on.  It SCARES me!  I had 3 weeks of vacation/sick days from work.  I have one paycheck left coming for 3 days (rather than a full of 10 days) then my two weeks waiting not paid.... and last my EI.  I assume that I will get my first payment in December...  I am not ready.

So to not think about it, I am keeping myself as busy as I can.  I may even have lost weight out of it.  MAY

This was the early stage of decorations

We did Halloween.  Not as many kids as we had feared so that is good.  It was a mild Halloween.  Some took pictures so I am sure we will appear on the internet somewhere.  See this post with last year's pics

I have a few for this year:

We did Halloween.  Not as many kids as we had feared so that is good.  It was a mild Halloween.  Some took pictures so I am sure we will appear on the internet somewhere.  See this post with last year's pics

I have a few for this year:

Now I have 4 pumpkin to cook and freeze, 2 small, 2 larger.  Definitely will collect the seeds for roasting.











This post is however called the library.

See those padded photo album, done by me with the kids baby blankets...

I have had this simple dream to have one of those library offices in my home.  I dreamed of being surrounded by the books I love while writing my novels.

Well rather than writing novel it's a blog...  Plus I don't have the funds to make it as opulent as I desired but I started it with GORM shelves from IKEA and a few other shelves I had lying around. 

Of course, it's not finished   Can't leave all those wood colors so painting is required.  Then go though the house, grab most of the books and fill those shelves.  Well painting may come after or mid-way through.  Soon as I pick my color.

We do have enough books in the house to fill all these shelves.
 I should remember to post pictures once fully done

See those nice GORM shelves I had one at home but needed more so I bought 3 from one seller on Used Ottawa and  and 1 from another seller from Used Ottawa.  Well even though they were all GORM shelves they were all different!  These shelves come with only 4 levels and I needed more.  As you see below, I still managed to make it work!  HA! to you IKEA changing the models.!!!!

By the way this room used to be the guest bedroom.  I 

exchanged the two room last week  That room still has a way to go.  I have plenty to do around the house to keep myself busy another two months. Hopefully, before I go back to work, this place will be home.

Well thanks for reading.

Keeping Myself Busy

Hello peoples!!!


Well after my last few posts, you can tell that I have not been doing too well.

So....

I have been keeping myself busy to chase away the negative thoughts as much as possible.  It's not working too well with my son not going to school and being obsessive and unstable around me.

My son has been forgetting to take his pills which makes him rather violent and extremely obsessive.

His latest obsession since I got a net book to do my surfing and blogging is to get a new laptop capable of of playing his %**^$%#*^ games.  My netbook was as little expensive to have a reliable product as I could manage.  1GB ram 320 hard drive...  I borrowed money from my Line of Credit to get it...

He wants  a strong processor, about 4GB ram.  Lots and lots of HD....  This costs more, money I don't have.  He won;t go to school so he can stay home and flip out at his current laptop which keeps shutting down.

Stand up for yourself, put your foot down, be authoritative...  Well that is someone without fibro, more physical strength than I have, not under CAS radar for being a single mom with a mental illness.  Call the cops if he attacks or threatens you.  Oh, guess who gets to pay his legal fees...guess who is responsible...

Parents have no right, we have to sit and take it.  That's it.I have to put up with it until he turns 18 and sen him to crisis unit when he crosses the line...  and by crossing the line, that line is VERY far...

Anyway, enough about that.

On October 19th I had open flap surgery on all 4 quadrants, and closed in the front.  They "put me under" for the surgery (but I don't remember being under)  Since then I have been having trouble eating.  My teeth have become extremely sensitive.  The gums were hurting  but the teeth, oh gosh... massive pain.  Even brushing my teeth with sensitive teeth toothpaste hurts.  I think I have a cavity.  Seeing them tomorrow...

I have done a bit more cleaning, not much laundry folding but  a bit here an there, yet the house is looking as dirty as ever, if not dirtier...

• I have been cooking desserts as well as other stuff.  I don't cook everyday but more than before.  
• I switched the guest bedroom and the office, 
• Unpacked and organized a few things here and there, 
• Prepared the Halloween candies and decorations, 
• Changed the light in the kitchen, 
• Bought a bed that will not fit in the stairs, 
• Went out karaokeing with little success. Remind me that I hate doing that.  Especially with Alcohol available.
• I also cleaned the back yard a bit

Not much I know but hey I am supposed to be RESTING...

I am also shopping for a new phone company as I don't think Wind has any intent or motivation to fix the issues, just waiting for an unlock.

I know what I am getting my son for his Bday and Xmas but I don't know what I am getting my daughter for her bday which is in November.  Maybe I can paint her furniture....   it needs to get done after all.

I wanted to do 14 things last week:

1.  
2. Fold clean laundry
3. Clean laundry that got dirty this week
4. Sort the hamper of socks
5. Clean all the cat litters, they are all overdue   [✓]
6. Clean all the hamster cages (severely overdue)  [✓]
7. Finish cleaning the backyard, empty all the pots etc. etc. etc....  [1/2 ✓]
8. Vacuum house from top to bottom (twice) 
9. Shine floors
10. Put vinyls on futons (after cleaning them throughout of course)  [✓]
11. Sort books and VHS to get rid of.
12. Reorganize kitchen cupboards  [1/2 ✓]
13. Clean the fridge
14. Make more hard boiled eggs
15. Make more muffins

I got 5 somewhat done...  Must do better next week....

Thanks for reading...

Depression is a Choice

It was brought to my attention recently that being depressed and suicidal is our choice.  Hating our life is not a good enough reason to be depressed and /or suicidal.  Being depressed is no more a choice than homosexuality, diabetes or cancer.

Excerpt of a conversation between two young adults  Names are blanked out but not all negative sayings.  I have no wish to live in the land of denial, it's too crowded.

A person with diabetes cannot simply shrug off their condition.  Sure some can choose to eat healthier, reducing the chances of the condition from spiraling out of control, but at the base of it, diabetes is a chemical disorder of the body.

Ever notice how sometimes, a person with a seemingly perfect life is depressed, even suicidal (Daron Richardson for example) yet another person with non-stop difficulties and challenges is not depressed?  How that person manages to find joy and satisfaction in the smallest things?

Depression is not merely an external situational condition.  A person is not depressed just because their life sucks.  Sure the fact that their life sucks might make the depression worst, just as stress and exhaustion might make the person more depressed but there is something there, before the events, predisposing a person to depression and suicidal thoughts.

This person had made comments that we were not tight on money, he was missing a lot of facts (as well as being just too inexperienced in life) to be able to make sound judgement.  I have no idea where the "father figure" comment even comes from...

Depression doesn't get better by itself.

There is only one cure for depression : Suicide.

IN the conversation in the picture above, the 21 year old discusses that death is nothingness.  In his (stupidity? ignorance?), he thinks that a suicidal person is not aware what death is, what death means.  He doesn't  get that what he describes is EXACTLY what a suicidal person WANTS.the end of it all, the end of the never-ending pain, the agony of life.  They seek nothingness.

Suicide is not "childish" or immature. There is no glory in putting up with pain and sadness for endless years.  We stay for others, not for ourselves.  We derive no pleasure out of life.


Other options for depression are treatments.  No treatments are cures. There is no living cure for depression.  They say it can get better.  I'll have to take their word for it as I have yet to experience it in my 40 years on earth.

Treatments include various drugs.  None of these drugs are guaranteed to work.   They help to balance the chemicals in the brain. Antidepressant medication, used under the guidance of a mental health professional, may relieve some of your depression symptoms. But antidepressants also come with significant side effects and dangers. What’s more, recent studies have raised questions about their effectiveness. At the very least, it’s clear that medication alone isn't enough—you also need to make changes in your lifestyle. Learning the facts about antidepressants and weighing the benefits against the risks can help you make an informed and personal decision about what’s right for you.



Experts agree that depression involves much more than just “bad” brain chemistry. Serotonin is just one of many factors that may play a role in the disorder.
New research points to other biological contributors to depression, including inflammation, elevated stress hormones, immune system suppression, abnormal activity in certain parts of the brain, nutritional deficiencies, and shrinking brain cells. And these are just the biological causes of depression.
Social and psychological factors—such as loneliness, lack of exercise, poor diet, and low self-esteem—also play an enormous role in depression.

Studies show that therapy works just as well as antidepressants in treating depression, and it’s better at preventing relapse once treatment ends. While depression medication only helps as long as you’re taking it, the emotional insights and coping skills acquired during therapy can have a more lasting effect on depression. However, sometimes depression can be too severe for simple therapy or the issues may be too complex.

Also, drugs are covered by insurance plans, therapy is not always covered, and when it is it covers very little.

Well that's it for now,  feel free to disagree with me.

Depression, Pain and Sick Leave

Hi!

Well I am half way through my second week of sick leave.

Hard to believe since I can't honestly say I have done very much except waste too much money.

It scares me how I will manage once the regular paycheck stops and I start getting only EI.  The two week without anything scares me even more.

I know I'll have food to last me for 4 weeks.  Might not be great food by the 4th week but we will have food, I just don't know how my bills will get paid.

You are probably figuring that this added stress is not going to help my anxiety, depression or blood pressure.  You are probably right.

The last two weeks I have not been sleeping well at all, and have been in considerable pain.  Pretty much why I have not done much around the house.  I have a pile of clean laundry getting more and more wrinkled by the day.  They need to be folded.

I have cut down my tomato plants.  The Sweet millions plant had taken over the whole garden and part of the back yard.  I did harvest the last of the tomatoes.  I of course had 4 other tomato plants in there

I did wash the laundry, folded some, just not all.

I did cook Thanksgiving dinner.  Yams, Butternut, Mashed Potatoes, Turkey, Ham, Chocolate Muffins (I had forgotten dessert!)

I have tried cleaning the house, did the basement washroom... the cleaning is just not working out very well.  If anything, it looks like the house is dirtier...

I have read a book....

I have gotten a lot of bad news.  (Still having issues with Wind, My son's bike was stolen, my son flipped, Telus sent me a cancellation bill for canceling at the end of my contract.  stoopid!  My daughter's student loans expect her to repay even though she applied for loans for this year (and got them) AND confirmed her enrollment...)

I have NOT decorated for Halloween yet

I have NOT painted anything yet

I have NOT organized anything yet

Other than Thanksgiving dinner I have NOT done much cooking or baking

So obviously no miracles...

I have done a lot of thinking...

Not much of it good I am afraid.

I have asked myself why someone whose IQ is at the 98th percentile feels so stupid and inadequate all the time.  Why I am embarrassed by everything I say and do..., yet can't seem to stop the idiocities from spilling out...

I have asked myself why it is always so much easier to believe when people tell me I am bad things but I am always suspicious when they make a compliment, assuming they are pretending, trying to make me feel better with lies or that they are really making fun of me, how gullible I am to think they might mean it...

I have asked myself why I can't enjoy the moment, why I am always so negative, so worthless...

I have asked myself also why "tricks" that work in making other people better fail so miserably with me.

I have read some self help books, watched Doctor Phil, Doctor Oz and a few other "health" shows and wonder why the stuff they talk about seem to be such a huge revelation for the "audience" when my reaction is "well duh... how could they not know that?"

I was telling my daughter that drinking specialty coffees was like drinking a pure milkshake, with 30% cream.  Even a double double is too much fat and sugar.  Shortly later the host says the exact same thing and the audience is "SHOCKED!"

Yet people believe that I am fat because I do not know what is fatning...  I know the things that are fatning and bad for me... I know what portions I am supposed to eat....  My being fat has more to do with the reasons WHY I eat, the reasons WHY I don't exercise as much as I need and the reasons WHY I choose unhealthy choices over healthy ones.

The neuropshychologist said I don't believe I can be helped...  HE is definitely RIGHT.  He says I have trouble trusting a therapist, he is also right on that one...

Those who may be able to help me... I can't afford, hell I can't afford the ones who can't.

Where does that leave me?  I'll be going back to work without anything resolved, only to keep getting worst....  That's where things leave me.

Oh and I hate my house more and more every single day....  God I was such an idiot to think I could pick a decent house....

Update on Fostering

Hello All!

Pepsi

Pepsi

Coke

           I am still fostering.  Many beautiful cats have sojourned under my roof.

Currently I have two beautiful Ragdoll mixes, Coke and Pepsi.

Coke younger

These boys are the absolutely Purrrrfect pets...

They are a mix of a dog and a cat.  They follow you around like a puppy, want cuddles, chat with you....  just amazing....

They are also so so soft!

Silver, purring as usual....

I also have a cute approximately 2 year old silver tabby that we are calling Silver, for lack of a better name.  He is not with the network and the poor thing is restrained to a room as he wants to fight with the other household cats... He needs a home of his home FAST!  He also needs to be neutered  but I have a cash-flow problem, I can't get it done...

Silver

This guy is so unbelievably affectionate...  Purrs so loudly and easily...

He just LOVES people.  I don't understand how he could have been thrown out like trash...

He uses the litter box (though smells pretty strong...)

Just an all round GREAT little kitty.  If you live in the Ottawa area and want him... get in touch with me...

Silver

Did I tell you all about Katey?  Katey was the sibling of Coco and Charley, such a firecracker and another amazing kitty.  She was adopted to a great couple who was not at all planning on getting a cat but they just absolutely fell totally in love with her on sight.  They just HAD to have her, her picture in the link below.

http://www.petfinder.com/petdetail/23487686

A quick update!

Hi All!

I know I have been gone for a while

It's been difficult to come and write a little something to let you all know what it going on. There are a lot of reasons for that.

1. My computer broke (Yes I can use my daughter's but there is more...)
2. Work has been massively busy over the last little while.  I have been using my breaks and lunches to try an get caught up.  When not using my breaks and lunches to get caught up, I have needed to get away from the cubicle, so no blogging.
3. I have been tired.  Very very tired.  When I come home after work, the last thing I want to do is sit in front of a computer and type, even though I have a lot to say.  I have thought of installing a software on my daughter's computer which would enable me to lounge on the futon in the office and dictate the content of my blog, then copy/paste the result, add a few pictures and post.
4. I have been in a lot of pain.  After sitting at a desk all day, I need to be in a different position at night.  So again no sitting in front of a computer at home.  Do most of my Facebooking on my phone in front of the TV, cuddling a kitten.
5. During the weekend I have to catch up on household chores as I don't get to do much of it during the week due to pain and exhaustion.  The kids are not very good yet at maintenance either.  I can't sit and blog when there is so much catching up to do.  And I still don;t get it all done.

Remember the Tests I did with the Neuropsychologist?  The Fitness to Work evaluation I did?

The results were surprising (but others were somewhat expected.)

The coolest thing is they included an IQ test.  The result was that I am in the 98.7 percentile...  I knew I was brilliant... now my doctors know it too.  They can no longer assume I am being manic when I claim that I am smarter than the average Canadian.   I AM!  it's not mania....  LOL

On the other hand, I am not functioning at that level.  I am still functioning at a level consistent with an average Canadian, but they agree that for my psyche, that is not a good thing.

They also determined that my depression was very high, that I have attachment/trust issues (not that I get attached ton easy, but the other way around, I have trouble letting people in)  I overcompensate so much  to hide what's going on and I have done it for so long that I have become pretty good at it.  Even though I am a horrible actress, it's nevertheless hard to see what is really going on.

So

• I have trouble forming relationships - something therapists need to know as I need to develop that so they can actually help.
• I have pretty severe social anxiety , and I work in client services....  yeash....
• I have self esteem issues related to my appearance which needs to be dealt with.
• I do not believe I can actually be helped - something else a therapist needs to know and they often jump right in and don't see the obstacle. - can you blame me though, considering how many doors I have had slammed in my face?

The Fitness to work evaluation did not take into account the physical pain or the exhaustion per say, but I think it was taken into account in regards to my lack of personal life because of it.

So, the recommendation is that I be off work for 3 months or so and get intensive psychotherapy for a long period of time.

I initially fought the recommendation.  Financially it was not a good thing as I am already pretty tight.  I am also afraid that it won't be enough...

But after all 4 doctors explained the necessity of it, I gave in.  I will be on EI during that 3 months (insurance kicks in the 4th month)  EI is about 1/3 of my income.

I saw this coming, I've been squirreling away.  I've looked at my bills and debts and seen what I can reduce or put off for a little while (just a little while) and I have determined that I will have to dip in my line of credit to pay some stuff,  I think I will be OK.  Sure I will be in deeper debt but, that's the price of illness.

I may be off longer because they feel I should do intense therapy before I come back to work and have some stuff dealt with.  At least once a week, for the first few months.

Thing is the therapy has to be with some out in the community therapists.  It has to be with therapists trained in overcoming my barriers.  Most of the recommended therapists charge on average $200/hour.

Well I am insured.  My insurance is pay first be reimbursed later.  It can take up to a month to be reimbursed.  Also, I am only covered on the first $1000.00

So, that means that only the first 6 visits are covered.  Also I have to pay about $800.00 before some of it is paid back, all while my income is a 1/3 of it's usual tight level.

Someone said to go to a community centre. 

1. They are not trained to address my particular issues, they do counselling, not therapy.  Yes it is different
2. They charge according to sliding scale according to income
3. They do not do long term therapy for serious issues, only short term counselling.

So needless to say, it's not going to start in the first 3 months.

Also the fibro will be investigated, to see if anything can be done to improve the situation.

I will definitely fight to go back to work.  I am just scared.

Wish me luck!

Thanks for reading.


P.S.  BTW, Wind?  Still not resolved.

The Neuropsychologist and a Day Long of Testing.

So as part of my Fitness for Work, I was sent to a Neuropsychologist for testing.

It all started with a two hour interview.

I have to say I am getting pretty good at all this divulging stuff cause something came out during that interview that shocked me.

He asked me about traumas I have had.

I mentioned that when I was a child, my parents would go on vacation without the kids, more often without me as being the youngest and 3rd child, I was the "expensive" one.

One time they forgot to come back for a week.  During that week, I thought I had been abandoned.  The aunt I was staying with thought my family had died so she was showing signs of stress.

The psychologist asked if it had a lasting effect on my.  I realized that it did.  I had trouble forming close relationships, had trouble trusting people because of that event.

If I care about them too much, it hurts more when they leave.  And they will always leave. 

When I made the comment "I now take for granted that they won't stick around"  the psychologists face registered "emotion".  It goes on par with the fact that I am unlovable I guess.

Anyways... quite enlightening.

The second day was all kinds of tests.

Emotional intelligence  (EI) tests

Intelligence quotient (IQ) tests

Memory tests (short term only)

Processing tests and so many more...

When I left my brain was hurting.  I would like to know the results of the tests.  I guess I should ask.

I did stop to think at a certain point that even though they were doing all these tests, it would give them a result.  They would know if I have bad memory (short term), if I have emotional tolerance but as for the "IQ" aspect, without something to compare it against how do they know that I have a reduced ability compared to me?

They'll know what my ability compared to the average Joe is, but not compared to what I can normally do.

I used to tell my former doctor that  at my reduced ability (mentally), I was still higher ability than many.  She saw that as a sign of mania.

It's like telling Ben Johnson that because he says he can run faster than the average Joe on a bad day, he has an inflated sense of self.  That would be a wrong assumption now would it not be?

Note... My mental abilities are not exactly like Ben Johnson's running ability.  Just using exaggeration to illustrate my point.

Thanks for reading

Wind Mobile - Still Waiting For a Resolution.

Please read this post, followed by this post first.

My New Phone - Wind Mobile

Wind Mobile - The Saga Continues

The last time I spoke to them, on August 17th, they told me that in 3-5 days, ALL my issues would be resolved.

Sure one is to expect "business days" but since THEY do business on weekends, that means that by today, I should have a resolution.

I should be able to look at my account and see the changes to the amount I still owe.

I get that the total Outstanding would not necessarily be $0.00 as there may have been some miscalculations on my part BUT it should be a lot lower than $41.00.  This includes MY payment of $26.00.

Note that the Point of Sales Manager NEVER sent me an email about the credit.  Nothing, Nada, Ziltch.

See a pattern here?

Looks like I was lied to again folks.  An here I keep giving them the benefit of the doubt.

This means of course that I have to call then AGAIN!

Stay Tuned!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
August 27, 2012.

5 weeks from when I first transferred to Wind Mobile (July 21, 2012)

I check online for my balance owed.

The good, my balance went down by $20.00

The bad, my balance went down by ONLY $20.00

I can only assume they have decided to charge me for that "week of usage" and taxes.

I call Wind today to find out what's going on.  It's been after all 10 days since they told me all would be resolved.  Take 4 days of weekends and it's still more than 5 days.  I waited a few extra days to give them a fighting chance before calling them.

I spoke to Anna.  ( I am now taking note of the names). 

I ask Anna what is going on.  She tells my case is escalated but there is still no resolution.  She didn't tell me about the $20.00.

She gave me a case #   C-10301605 and said she sent an email to escalation to get an update.

Of course no one will bother calling me.  I know the routine by now.  My son was to get a cell for his birthday.  We won't be going with Wind.  Quite a few of my Facebook friends and their friends will not be going with Wind either, no matter how interesting their advertised prices are.

My home computer has since died, making it more difficult to update my file.  Dealing with Wind has been trying and exhausting to the extreme.

Stay tuned. some more...

October 5, 2012

Just checked my wind account today.  Still waiting for a resolution.  On September 16, I spoke with a Wind Representative and they told me all was resolved and I had all my credits.  Looking at my account, the credits have yet to be applied.

Yet, they send me texts on a regular basis "nagging me" to pay my "outstanding amount".

Can you see the irony???

They nag me for an amount they OWE me....

This company is run by a bunch of ignorant teenagers...

October 9, 2012

I called Wind to find out why my credit has not been applied.

The first call, after waiting 20 minutes to reach a representative, I get an obviously uninterested woman (girl?).  She informed me that I did not qualify for the credit as I didn't port my number over...

I flipped... are there not notes on my file?  I asked to speak to her supervisor....  she is obnoxious and put me on hold, for 10 minutes and then I am flushed....

So I call again.  This time I get an agent right away, is name is Sebastian,  (She mumbled her name, I asked to repeat twice and I still could not get her name)  I asked about my credit.  He puts me on hold, reads the notes comes back and says he sees the escalations but obviously the wrong resolution was reached as they denied my request...

He offered to send it back up to escalation with more details...  He felt that I should have my credit....  Thanks Sebastian for agreeing with me, now if only I could actually get to speak to these "escalation people".  I have asked and never succeeded.  They are supposed to call but never call.  Just like they never respond to their texts...

So I am still waiting for an acceptable resolution...

October 15, 2012

I got a text...

Hey! Your account is still overdue. We need full payment within 48hrs to avoid full suspension of your service. Give us a shout to keep our relationship alive

I guess my account will be suspended in 48 hrs...

Worst company EVER!

October 15, 2012

After contacting the media in regards to my problems with Wind mobile, I went on Twitter to give them fair warning.

After all the same bullshit was said, I think we reached an A-ha moment.  The Temp # has not been considered in my recent exchanges with them.  (it definitely was in older exchanges though)

Another wait and see.

Also I found out today that Telus is charging me $120 for exiting my contract 10 days early.  10 days that I PAID!

Did they really have to be this punitive?  I figure being with WIND was punitive enough....

To follow.... an-update-on-wind-mobile