Hello Everyone!
We are almost at the end of August and this means it's the end of a few things.
For one thing, the way the weather has been going lately in my part of the world, it looks like summer will be ending a little earlier than usual this year. The nights are already quite a bit cooler, which is great for sleeping!
Unfortunately, even though I sleep better, I am still tired. I don't understand it.
Another thing that is ending (sorta) is my working part-time. As of September, my hours will be slowly increasing so that by winter I will be working full-time. I am of two minds reegarding this. On one hand, I can't help but see this as a good thing as I will have more time to do my work. I have honestly been feeling a little overwhelmed but the quantity of work that I have been doing. You see I am trying to fit in a full day of work in half the time and sometimes, that is a little bit much for me. Also, since I have trouble focussing and staying on track, I have to do my work a little slower, well a lot slower on some days. So having more time to do my work has to be a good thing.
On the other hand, I am still tired and still get some really bad days (like yesterday for example). I don't know how being at work for longer periods of time will affect me. Will I be able to take care of my home, I barely can do it now.
The thing is this part-time gig is all about my depression, which has gotten better and none of it is about my Fibromyalgia and Chronic fatigue Syndrome, which seems to have gotten worst over the last couple of months. So bases soley on my depression, I am quite ready to take on more work for sure.
My Therapies have also come to a close. They have not been as helpful as I was hoping. I have been participating full on but I think my depression has more to do than my thought patterns, they are situational too. The meds I have been taking, especially since the last increase have been helping the depression more than the therapies. I can honetly say, mood wise, that I am now having more good days then bad. The last tie my mood went really bad was when one of our foster kitties passed away from Feline Infectious Peritonitis (FIPS) about a month ago. I still very much miss him.
Hello, I just found your blog. I haven't finished reading everything, but I felt inspired to send a message. Your descriptions of your depression could have been written by me. I am so sorry about your other conditions, and I am amazed at your strength. I have had chronic depression for over 20 years and anxiety. I have a 13 year old daughter who has OCD. I believe if it weren't for her, I would have ended it long ago. Sometimes I wish I had cancer, or some other visible disease, so people would realize how very sick I am.
ReplyDeleteI hope I can write again as I read your blog. D
Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI do believe (now that I am better anyways) that having a reason to keep chugging along is half the battle won so I am thankful that you have your daughter to keep you going. I understand what you mean about wishing that our illnesses were more visible, I often wish that too.
Thank you for taking the time to write and hope to hear from you again.