I have been asked "Are you happy you bought the house yet?"
How do I tell people that no, I am not happy I bought the house?
How do I tell people that I feel like I have done a monumental mistake, a mistake that I cannot correct?
I have over-extended myself financially, physically and emotionally?
How can I tell people that I regret what I have done and am struggling to find a way to cope with the fall out?
How can I tell people that this may be the one biggest mistake of my life?
The kids have made it quite clear that they are not happy about it either. In the last two months, all I seem to hear them say is " I HATE this and I HATE that!".
I also hear how nothing is good enough.
They are angry that I don't have the money to just keep buying anything. My son wants a new laptop again (3rd one in a year) as his current one is also breaking.
By buying this house I don't have the money to borrow anymore. I don't even have the money to get "interesting food" or to eat out.
Mind out I had run out of the "bonus" or "extra" money and things were going to get tight anyway, but now things are more tight.
I thought that by buying rather than renting, it would give them something after I died, but due to my Fibromyalgia and Bipolar, I cannot be insured, so they will just inherit a whole bunch of debt.
Once more I can't do anything right.
January 31, 2012
January 30, 2012
Too Much Freezing Rain
This has been an odd winter.
Nothing compared to the winter of 1998 in that National Capital Region, but odd still
The weather is unpredictable and there is a lot of freezing rain. I mean A LOT!
Cold and humidity are bad for me. They each make me feel like the Tin Man from the Wizard of OZ (oddly enough that was my role in a skating play when I was 11)
Together I am an extra stiff and rusty Tin Man (humm I should say woman shouldn't I?)
So this winter has not been a good winter for me. Since I sprained my ankle (in November) we have had several bouts of freezing rain. In fact in the last week, we have had two episodes of freezing rain.
This makes for slippery roads and sidewalks. Slippery everything.
I am surprised there has not been more injuries so far this year. Maybe there are but they are not so severe that they do not warrant be reported. Maybe people are being more careful and are taking the conditions into considerations for once.
I know this is dorky, but I have been considering keeping a pair of skates in my car. Some days the ground is so icy and slick, it would be much easier to move on it with skates and not seriously main or injure oneself.
I wonder what the rest of the winter has in store for us.
Thanks for reading!
Nothing compared to the winter of 1998 in that National Capital Region, but odd still
The weather is unpredictable and there is a lot of freezing rain. I mean A LOT!
Cold and humidity are bad for me. They each make me feel like the Tin Man from the Wizard of OZ (oddly enough that was my role in a skating play when I was 11)
Together I am an extra stiff and rusty Tin Man (humm I should say woman shouldn't I?)
So this winter has not been a good winter for me. Since I sprained my ankle (in November) we have had several bouts of freezing rain. In fact in the last week, we have had two episodes of freezing rain.
This makes for slippery roads and sidewalks. Slippery everything.
I am surprised there has not been more injuries so far this year. Maybe there are but they are not so severe that they do not warrant be reported. Maybe people are being more careful and are taking the conditions into considerations for once.
I know this is dorky, but I have been considering keeping a pair of skates in my car. Some days the ground is so icy and slick, it would be much easier to move on it with skates and not seriously main or injure oneself.
I wonder what the rest of the winter has in store for us.
Thanks for reading!
January 29, 2012
The new house - With boxes galore!!!
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| Front door (full of boxes, but then again the whole house is still full of boxes) |
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| The washroom with the deep tup |
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| My daughter's room (purple wall) and the guest bedroom (Can't go in right now) |
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| My bedroom |
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| Kitty Condo |
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| The office |
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| Da linen closet |
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| Dining room |
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| Kitchen |
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| Dining room again |
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| Kitchen again |
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| Hallway nook |
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| Hallway leading to front door |
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| Living room from one end (lots of unpacking I know) |
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| Living room from the other end |
The move on the 21st of January - in pictures
The house before the movers got there
After the movers left
The next day we put the garbage out to the curb, finished prepping the stuff we were keeping and cleaned it up. The landlord now has the keys. Good bye old place . We leave a lot of history there.
After the movers left
January 25, 2012
Infatuation or Love?
Who among you has fallen in love?
Are you in love in the forever after kind of love? Or is it a deep intense love without it being the "one true love"?
Valentine's Day is coming and I have started pondering about "love"
As some of you may know, I am single and celibate at the moment. By celibate, I am not using it as the synonym of single but rather to mean that I am avoiding and have no interest in men, relationships or sex. I also have no intention of changing that status right now, nor do I know when I might want to.
This does not prevent me from pondering my life and past relationships. There have been way too many relationships with men in my life. I have had enough so far to last two lifetimes, maybe even three, but I was looking for the wrong thing in all the wrong places.
I was looking for proof that I was lovable in men that were only interested in sex. Very bad for self esteem.
Anyway so I have been pondering all my past relationships and have determined that of all of them I have actually probably fallen in love 3 times (a fourth the jury is still out on if it was love or infatuation) Of those three men, I don't think any of them loved me.
The first one was my first real boyfriend. In the beginning maybe he did feel something very strongly for me. I was 11, he was 14. We were the cutest thing. Most called it puppy love and few expected us to continue seeing each other until I was 17, he 20.
For two years, we saw each other almost every day, we did break up once or twice, but it did not last very long. Then, when I was 13, I moved away. We continued being involved through letters, and when I visited in the summers. As with all long distance relationships, it couldn't last and it ended terribly. I met up with him years late, when I was in my 30s, but the magic was gone for good, we had become two very different individuals, worlds apart.
The second one, I was 24, he was just 19. Yeah I know, robbing the cradle and all. Actually, he was the one who pursued me. In the beginning I would have nothing to do with him BECAUSE he was younger. He kept hassling my friends, trying to get them to convince me to give him a chance. He knew I was a single mother. He was willing to become part of her life. After he turned 19, between him and my friends, I decided to give him a shot. I fell for him hard and fast.
The relationship lasted barely more than a month. I broke up with him. The outside pressures were too much for me to handle, for us to handle. His family disapproved of me and were always on his case to break up with me. The people kept telling him that I was cheating on him, they kept telling me that he was cheating on me. His friends were telling him to stop seeing an older woman with a kid, that it was too much responsibility. the people around me were telling me that I was insane to go out with someone so young when I was a mother. Well he might have been able to handle it, he did after all join the army and survived a tour of duty in Afghanistan. (later). I regret to this day not toughing it out. I am very proud of the man he became, I have told his parents this and they thanked me. I lived a few doors down from his parents for 6 years. Eventually I am sure they figured out who I was, even though we never discussed it. His parents got to know me years after I broke up with him and respected the person I was. They probably realized their original fears were for naught.
He went on to marry and have beautiful children. Lucky woman!
The third man, I fell in love without noticing I was falling. He made it so easy for me. It started out that we were "booty call" partners. We worked together and I was complaining that I could not get a guy to help me with my "needs" and he mentioned that he could help me with that. He was not my type at all. He was younger than me, shorter than me, and blond! Considering up till then I had gone for tall dark and handsome, if it had not been for that conversation I totally would not even had considered him. Even when he offered, I did not take him seriously and kind of dared him and myself to do it.
Boy that first time was AWKWARD!
He was so sweet and so shy. Every time I would visit him, he did not make me feel like a means to an end. He was sweet and romantic and considerate. He treated me like a princess in every which way. Our arrangement was to be a secret. It was understood that neither of us would discuss our encounters. I had a friend that had been involved with him and so many times I almost blurted out details about my encounters with him, but that was against the rules. He did not want me to tell her. I found keeping the secret from her so difficult. After years of us seeing each other, he eventually decided to tell people about us, to become more in the open. He was the first to tell our friend, and she took it hard. She took it hard that he had gotten involved with me and took it even harder that I had not told her. It destroyed our friendship. I miss her to this day, yet understand her feelings.
Our involvement lasted about 4 years, at most 5. Ending it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. Part of me still longs for him. For a while, I thought he might have cared for me, even maybe loved me, especially since he was so sweet, treated me so well and at times I thought I heard him say those words... in the height of passion, or when I was asleep and snuggled against him. I had been thinking of possibly ending the relationship if we could not make it official for a while. I was trying to get him to agree (delicately) to become an actual couple. He had seemed to be taking steps towrads it, telling people about us, being seen in public together and so on, but he was not making that final step. The one day I see on facebok that he is in an open relationship. I would find out shortly that he was going out with her, being official with her but the open referred to keeping his unofficial relationship with me. That made me feel so dirty and worthless that I put an end to it once and for all. I sent him an email that I was not interested in being the side dish anymore, I was looking to be the main dish and if that was not going to happen then it was over.
I still miss him. I also miss my second but in a sweet kinda way. My third, his absence still hurts. I tried to replace him, but it didn't work.
So that's it, the story about the men I love(d).
Thanks for reading.
Are you in love in the forever after kind of love? Or is it a deep intense love without it being the "one true love"?
Valentine's Day is coming and I have started pondering about "love"
As some of you may know, I am single and celibate at the moment. By celibate, I am not using it as the synonym of single but rather to mean that I am avoiding and have no interest in men, relationships or sex. I also have no intention of changing that status right now, nor do I know when I might want to.
This does not prevent me from pondering my life and past relationships. There have been way too many relationships with men in my life. I have had enough so far to last two lifetimes, maybe even three, but I was looking for the wrong thing in all the wrong places.
I was looking for proof that I was lovable in men that were only interested in sex. Very bad for self esteem.
Anyway so I have been pondering all my past relationships and have determined that of all of them I have actually probably fallen in love 3 times (a fourth the jury is still out on if it was love or infatuation) Of those three men, I don't think any of them loved me.
The first one was my first real boyfriend. In the beginning maybe he did feel something very strongly for me. I was 11, he was 14. We were the cutest thing. Most called it puppy love and few expected us to continue seeing each other until I was 17, he 20.
For two years, we saw each other almost every day, we did break up once or twice, but it did not last very long. Then, when I was 13, I moved away. We continued being involved through letters, and when I visited in the summers. As with all long distance relationships, it couldn't last and it ended terribly. I met up with him years late, when I was in my 30s, but the magic was gone for good, we had become two very different individuals, worlds apart.
The second one, I was 24, he was just 19. Yeah I know, robbing the cradle and all. Actually, he was the one who pursued me. In the beginning I would have nothing to do with him BECAUSE he was younger. He kept hassling my friends, trying to get them to convince me to give him a chance. He knew I was a single mother. He was willing to become part of her life. After he turned 19, between him and my friends, I decided to give him a shot. I fell for him hard and fast.
The relationship lasted barely more than a month. I broke up with him. The outside pressures were too much for me to handle, for us to handle. His family disapproved of me and were always on his case to break up with me. The people kept telling him that I was cheating on him, they kept telling me that he was cheating on me. His friends were telling him to stop seeing an older woman with a kid, that it was too much responsibility. the people around me were telling me that I was insane to go out with someone so young when I was a mother. Well he might have been able to handle it, he did after all join the army and survived a tour of duty in Afghanistan. (later). I regret to this day not toughing it out. I am very proud of the man he became, I have told his parents this and they thanked me. I lived a few doors down from his parents for 6 years. Eventually I am sure they figured out who I was, even though we never discussed it. His parents got to know me years after I broke up with him and respected the person I was. They probably realized their original fears were for naught.
He went on to marry and have beautiful children. Lucky woman!
The third man, I fell in love without noticing I was falling. He made it so easy for me. It started out that we were "booty call" partners. We worked together and I was complaining that I could not get a guy to help me with my "needs" and he mentioned that he could help me with that. He was not my type at all. He was younger than me, shorter than me, and blond! Considering up till then I had gone for tall dark and handsome, if it had not been for that conversation I totally would not even had considered him. Even when he offered, I did not take him seriously and kind of dared him and myself to do it.
Boy that first time was AWKWARD!
He was so sweet and so shy. Every time I would visit him, he did not make me feel like a means to an end. He was sweet and romantic and considerate. He treated me like a princess in every which way. Our arrangement was to be a secret. It was understood that neither of us would discuss our encounters. I had a friend that had been involved with him and so many times I almost blurted out details about my encounters with him, but that was against the rules. He did not want me to tell her. I found keeping the secret from her so difficult. After years of us seeing each other, he eventually decided to tell people about us, to become more in the open. He was the first to tell our friend, and she took it hard. She took it hard that he had gotten involved with me and took it even harder that I had not told her. It destroyed our friendship. I miss her to this day, yet understand her feelings.
Our involvement lasted about 4 years, at most 5. Ending it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. Part of me still longs for him. For a while, I thought he might have cared for me, even maybe loved me, especially since he was so sweet, treated me so well and at times I thought I heard him say those words... in the height of passion, or when I was asleep and snuggled against him. I had been thinking of possibly ending the relationship if we could not make it official for a while. I was trying to get him to agree (delicately) to become an actual couple. He had seemed to be taking steps towrads it, telling people about us, being seen in public together and so on, but he was not making that final step. The one day I see on facebok that he is in an open relationship. I would find out shortly that he was going out with her, being official with her but the open referred to keeping his unofficial relationship with me. That made me feel so dirty and worthless that I put an end to it once and for all. I sent him an email that I was not interested in being the side dish anymore, I was looking to be the main dish and if that was not going to happen then it was over.
I still miss him. I also miss my second but in a sweet kinda way. My third, his absence still hurts. I tried to replace him, but it didn't work.
So that's it, the story about the men I love(d).
Thanks for reading.
January 24, 2012
When Everything is Your Fault.
So does anyone ever get the feeling that everything that goes wrong in the world is their fault?
Like they can't do anything right?
That is how I have been feeling lately. Well I have definitely been told quite clearly that I am not good enough, that I don't have the right to rest and relax and enjoy the company of friends. That I am lazy.
It's been quite clear, I got it. I also hear that I am a total failure as a human being and as a mother. I get that too. The message is clear. I can't take care of my son that my daughter is obligated to do all the work. I failed to raise him to become a decent and productive member of society.
Everything is the house breaks or becomes dysfunctional because of me. I am but a poor substitute for the other parent they once had. She did everything right, I do everything wrong. Rather than getting rid of her, I should have gotten rid of myself. Things would have been much better for everyone. I decided to be stupid enough to buy a house and subjected everyone to loads of work. Now every one's life is upside down and gone to hell and it's all my fault. I wanted to achieve something for me but forgot, I don't deserve to have anything.
It's useless to cry. Only worthless lazy crybabies cry. No point is trying to lash out or try to explain. There is no excuse. I am a useless human being. There is no excuse for that.
I have been reading Louise Hay. She defines the spiritual meaning of body aches and pains:
This is taken from this website: http://www.squidoo.com/spiritualmeaning#module12446061 which makes reference to this website: http://www.louisehay.com/
LEG PROBLEMS: Fear o the future, not being able to carry things forward.
I have had requests from wonderful caring people to reach out when the negativity and darkness overwhelms me. It is very difficult to reach out when you feel unworthy. I write. I try to release the darkness through my writing.
Anger. Yes, there is a lot of anger. The emotion is eating me up inside. Only about 10% of my anger is released, the rest is contained by my muzzle. Anger is not acceptable.
I am angry at my kids, all the time. Every hour and everyday, I am angry at them. I am angry at me for my inadequacies. I am angry at their lack of Independence, at their reliance on me. I am angry that I feel chained to all my responsibilities. I am angry that I expect sometimes more out of them than what I could do/be at their age, then I am angry and the things I could do at their age that they can't. I am angry that I compare them to me. I am angry that I can't do everything by myself, that I need so much help. I am angry to always have to ask often to be ignored. I am angry that I let things pile up. I am angry that I can't express myself. I am angry that I am such a wimp. I am angry that everything I do for myself has such a high price. I am angry that cheaters and liars and thieves get little consequences but that I always get tenfold.
Sometimes the violence inside of me scares me. I am scared that one day it will burst free and I will be totally unable to contain it. I am scared of what I will do it I can't keep the damn closed.
Like they can't do anything right?
That is how I have been feeling lately. Well I have definitely been told quite clearly that I am not good enough, that I don't have the right to rest and relax and enjoy the company of friends. That I am lazy.
It's been quite clear, I got it. I also hear that I am a total failure as a human being and as a mother. I get that too. The message is clear. I can't take care of my son that my daughter is obligated to do all the work. I failed to raise him to become a decent and productive member of society.
Everything is the house breaks or becomes dysfunctional because of me. I am but a poor substitute for the other parent they once had. She did everything right, I do everything wrong. Rather than getting rid of her, I should have gotten rid of myself. Things would have been much better for everyone. I decided to be stupid enough to buy a house and subjected everyone to loads of work. Now every one's life is upside down and gone to hell and it's all my fault. I wanted to achieve something for me but forgot, I don't deserve to have anything.
It's useless to cry. Only worthless lazy crybabies cry. No point is trying to lash out or try to explain. There is no excuse. I am a useless human being. There is no excuse for that.
I have been reading Louise Hay. She defines the spiritual meaning of body aches and pains:
This is taken from this website: http://www.squidoo.com/spiritualmeaning#module12446061 which makes reference to this website: http://www.louisehay.com/
ACNE: Not accepting or disliking self
ANKLE PAIN: Inflexibility and guilt Inability to receive pleasure.
ARTHRITIS: Feeling unloved, criticism, resentment
BACK (upper): Lack of emotional support, or feeling unloved.
BACK (middle): Guilt. Stuck in all that stuff back there or Get off my back.
BACK (lower): Financial woes and concerns.
BLACK HEADS: Small outbursts of anger.
BREATHING PROBLEMS: Fear or the refusal to take in life. Not feeling worthy to take up space.
CARPAL TUNNEL: Anger and frustrations at life's seeming injustices.
DEPRESSION: Anger, hopelessness.
ELBOW PROBLEMS: Not being flexible, not able to change directions or accept new experiences.
ASTIGMATISM: Inability to see ahead with Joy
FEET PROBLEMS: Fear of the future or not wanting to move ahead
GUM PROBLEMS: Inability to back up decisions. Being wishy-washy about life.
HEADACHES: Self-criticism. Not wanting to accept what is going on.
KNEE PROBLEMS: Inability to bend. Stubborn ego and pride. Fear. Inflexibility. Won’t give in.
MIGRAINE HEADACHE: Sexual fears, or fear of being close. Letting someone in too close. Feeling driven or pressured.
OVERWEIGHT PROBLEMS: Fear, feeling a deep need for emotional protection, Running away from feelings, insecurity.
PAIN: Self punishment, feeling emotional guilt.
SHOULDER PROBLEMS: Carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, Feeling life is a burden.
SNORING: Stubborn refusal to let go of old patterns.
If one reads all of my physical issues listed and their spiritual meanings, one sees a pattern. A lot of guilt, a dislike for oneself, a fear of going ahead and or the future, a stubbornness and inflexibility. There is also a lot of unexpressed anger, which would be odd considering how much negativity is released through this blog.
I have had requests from wonderful caring people to reach out when the negativity and darkness overwhelms me. It is very difficult to reach out when you feel unworthy. I write. I try to release the darkness through my writing.
Anger. Yes, there is a lot of anger. The emotion is eating me up inside. Only about 10% of my anger is released, the rest is contained by my muzzle. Anger is not acceptable.
I am angry at my kids, all the time. Every hour and everyday, I am angry at them. I am angry at me for my inadequacies. I am angry at their lack of Independence, at their reliance on me. I am angry that I feel chained to all my responsibilities. I am angry that I expect sometimes more out of them than what I could do/be at their age, then I am angry and the things I could do at their age that they can't. I am angry that I compare them to me. I am angry that I can't do everything by myself, that I need so much help. I am angry to always have to ask often to be ignored. I am angry that I let things pile up. I am angry that I can't express myself. I am angry that I am such a wimp. I am angry that everything I do for myself has such a high price. I am angry that cheaters and liars and thieves get little consequences but that I always get tenfold.
Sometimes the violence inside of me scares me. I am scared that one day it will burst free and I will be totally unable to contain it. I am scared of what I will do it I can't keep the damn closed.
January 23, 2012
Almost Done
The move is almost over!!!!!
Almost time to celebrate!!!!
We are 8 days to deadline (January 31) and the amount of things left to do is manageable.
I have at most two car loads (maybe as little as 1 in fact) of things to bring to the new house. Yes bring as I am now living in the new house. It feels odd as all new habits do but I will adjust.
The basement is clean, the upper level with the rooms is all vaccuumed and requires a bit of carpet cleaning. The bath and toilet also need to be cleaned. The main floor is also almost done but does require the most work.
The oven is almost done, just a bit of rinsing and shining. The cupboards asre done. The fridge is almost clean, still have to empty and clean the freezer.
Last will be washing the laminate and cleaning the carpet (vaccuum and steamer)
Now my pride is pushing me to leave the place clean (even though the new tenants are probably going to clean the cupboards and washrooms anew and the landlord will need to change some flooring and paint a few rooms)
I also need to go get the paint.
Of course I am completely denying the amount of work required to set the new house right. I may have packed up the old house in 2 months but it will take much longer to set up the old house. Trying to figure out where everything goes will not be an easy task.
Sleeping in my new home definitely helped my feel like things were on the right track. Of course the fibro is also kicking in, making the work that's left a little harder to do, but as long as my stuff it out of the house, the rest can remain undone if my health really prevents me from doing it. Push comes to shove, my neighbour offered to help with the cleaning. I can ask her to do the floors on the main floor and maybe the floors on the upper floor. All depends on how much she plans on charging me. Vaccuuming and mopping might be sufficient.
There are times when fibro is not a good excuse for not respecting deadlines or common courtesy. This is one of them. The landlord will expect the place to be clean and empty for the 1st. No excuses. No, I hurt my ankle, hurt my back, became ill, will be accepted, they are a business after all.
I can see the finish line, I can count the steps it will take to get there. Will I take those steps or will they have to bring the finish line to me?
Almost time to celebrate!!!!
We are 8 days to deadline (January 31) and the amount of things left to do is manageable.
I have at most two car loads (maybe as little as 1 in fact) of things to bring to the new house. Yes bring as I am now living in the new house. It feels odd as all new habits do but I will adjust.
The basement is clean, the upper level with the rooms is all vaccuumed and requires a bit of carpet cleaning. The bath and toilet also need to be cleaned. The main floor is also almost done but does require the most work.
The oven is almost done, just a bit of rinsing and shining. The cupboards asre done. The fridge is almost clean, still have to empty and clean the freezer.
Last will be washing the laminate and cleaning the carpet (vaccuum and steamer)
Now my pride is pushing me to leave the place clean (even though the new tenants are probably going to clean the cupboards and washrooms anew and the landlord will need to change some flooring and paint a few rooms)
I also need to go get the paint.
Of course I am completely denying the amount of work required to set the new house right. I may have packed up the old house in 2 months but it will take much longer to set up the old house. Trying to figure out where everything goes will not be an easy task.
Sleeping in my new home definitely helped my feel like things were on the right track. Of course the fibro is also kicking in, making the work that's left a little harder to do, but as long as my stuff it out of the house, the rest can remain undone if my health really prevents me from doing it. Push comes to shove, my neighbour offered to help with the cleaning. I can ask her to do the floors on the main floor and maybe the floors on the upper floor. All depends on how much she plans on charging me. Vaccuuming and mopping might be sufficient.
There are times when fibro is not a good excuse for not respecting deadlines or common courtesy. This is one of them. The landlord will expect the place to be clean and empty for the 1st. No excuses. No, I hurt my ankle, hurt my back, became ill, will be accepted, they are a business after all.
I can see the finish line, I can count the steps it will take to get there. Will I take those steps or will they have to bring the finish line to me?
January 20, 2012
Way too much STUFF
Remember the post where I discussed the fact that I am a hoarder?
Well 17 days in to the move, at least 15 car trips(with a wagon car, holds 3X the amount as a regular car) and 1.5 trips with a 14 cube truck and there is STILL at least a truck load of shit in the old house! Maybe a little more!
How the bejesus did I accumulate so much STUFF! Holey Cow!
I culled, a LOT. Brought a lot of stuff to the garbage and much more to 2nd hand stores. Given stuff away to people
I don't know where or how I will find space to put all this stuff away. The kitchen does not even have a pantry. I guess some of the stuff will have to be stored in the basement as I will have extra counter/cabinets down there.
As I unpack, I will be doing even more culling. I must. This is a chance to start fresh ans make my life easier. That means getting rid of the stuff I truly do not need, making room for the stuff I do need.
My son will be using almost 80% of the basement (his room is an easy third) I hope most of his stuff will remain in his area...
Now I may be wrong about this, but I think my daughter may have more bedroom stuff than me, or it may be that my stuff is scattered all over the house while hers is contained within her bedroom too. In the new house, we are both using two bedrooms. My closet in my actual bedroom has been removed to increase the size of the bedroom (by the way the new bed placement is more fenshui as my feet will not be facing the door) so I will be using the closet in the "office" room. My daughter will be using both closets, the one in her actual bedroom and the one in the "costplay"/spare bedroom. That reminds me, I need to install a second pole in my closet as it's very deep and can take two poles, one in front of the other. I will be using the front one from every day stuff anf the back one for special or off season clothes. I could also use another shelf in there. Anyway, she will be filling up both closets.
Ah the expenses keep adding up. All this to find ways to make all my stuff fit.
Mind you there are other expenses that are adding up that are unrelated to the stuff. Maybe I should do a garage sale in the spring to help pay back for att this stuff AND get rid of stuff.
Few hundred dollars in exchange for space.... hum nice.
Tomorrow night I will be sleeping in my new room The move will not be over by any means. It will only be over on the 31st. The children are home as we speak, packing up some of the remaining stuff, giving me a hand. The daughter has informed me that they are running out of boxes already. I swear we must have over 100 boxes. Yeah I know. That's a lot of stuff
Halloween, Yule, Artist supplies, Pet supplies, BOOKS. DVDs, VHS, Games, BOOKS...
Gardening supplies, cooking/baking supplies, hobbies, paints...tools. A lot of stuff I tell you.
Well thanks for reading and wish me luck.
Well 17 days in to the move, at least 15 car trips(with a wagon car, holds 3X the amount as a regular car) and 1.5 trips with a 14 cube truck and there is STILL at least a truck load of shit in the old house! Maybe a little more!
How the bejesus did I accumulate so much STUFF! Holey Cow!
I culled, a LOT. Brought a lot of stuff to the garbage and much more to 2nd hand stores. Given stuff away to people
I don't know where or how I will find space to put all this stuff away. The kitchen does not even have a pantry. I guess some of the stuff will have to be stored in the basement as I will have extra counter/cabinets down there.
As I unpack, I will be doing even more culling. I must. This is a chance to start fresh ans make my life easier. That means getting rid of the stuff I truly do not need, making room for the stuff I do need.
My son will be using almost 80% of the basement (his room is an easy third) I hope most of his stuff will remain in his area...
Now I may be wrong about this, but I think my daughter may have more bedroom stuff than me, or it may be that my stuff is scattered all over the house while hers is contained within her bedroom too. In the new house, we are both using two bedrooms. My closet in my actual bedroom has been removed to increase the size of the bedroom (by the way the new bed placement is more fenshui as my feet will not be facing the door) so I will be using the closet in the "office" room. My daughter will be using both closets, the one in her actual bedroom and the one in the "costplay"/spare bedroom. That reminds me, I need to install a second pole in my closet as it's very deep and can take two poles, one in front of the other. I will be using the front one from every day stuff anf the back one for special or off season clothes. I could also use another shelf in there. Anyway, she will be filling up both closets.
Ah the expenses keep adding up. All this to find ways to make all my stuff fit.
Mind you there are other expenses that are adding up that are unrelated to the stuff. Maybe I should do a garage sale in the spring to help pay back for att this stuff AND get rid of stuff.
Few hundred dollars in exchange for space.... hum nice.
Tomorrow night I will be sleeping in my new room The move will not be over by any means. It will only be over on the 31st. The children are home as we speak, packing up some of the remaining stuff, giving me a hand. The daughter has informed me that they are running out of boxes already. I swear we must have over 100 boxes. Yeah I know. That's a lot of stuff
Halloween, Yule, Artist supplies, Pet supplies, BOOKS. DVDs, VHS, Games, BOOKS...
Gardening supplies, cooking/baking supplies, hobbies, paints...tools. A lot of stuff I tell you.
Well thanks for reading and wish me luck.
January 18, 2012
Unauthorized Use of Credit Cards
Recently, while I was checking my credit card information online, I noticed several charges on my statement that I had not authorized.
They were all for Nintendo Games.
Well it does not take a genius to figure out where these stem from. Who in the house has an addiction to electronics and video games? Who tends to do things without permission and feels entitled.
My son. He took my credit card number and entered it into his game system. He then just had to click buy on credit card for all purchases. The purchases were done under his name.
This brought me to wondering. Of course my son is responsible for his actions. He should not have used my credit card without my knowledge or permission. I can't take the purchase away because the "game points" are already spent. I could take away the system, but rather it broke on warranty and I told him I would not be taking care of having it fixed as a punishment. I will also have his social worker and the school police officer speak to him about credit card fraud and theft.
But I got to wondering about the merchant responsibilities in all this. The purchase was being done under my son's name. The credit card is in my name. He is not an authorized user on my account. Sure we have the same last name, but not the same first name. If my surname was Smith or Jones a lot of people would have the same last name as me, does charging a purchase on a credit card with a different given name make the purchase valid?
Different people have different opinions on this one. There are those who say the only responsible person is my son (and he definitely holds the largest share of responsibility). Others say that only my son and I are responsible (me for having my credit card information not locked away but in my wallet, in my purse and leaving my purse unsupervised around my son). Well lesson learned, I will definitely be more careful from now on. It's definitely a sad state of affairs when I have to lock away my purse in my own home.
Few said that the merchant had some share of responsibility. I think the merchant is also partially responsible for accepting a credit card in the name of a person different from the purchaser without ensuring that the person who owns the credit card had provided authorization. They also allowed a 13 year old to make a purchase. Most did not agree that the merchant had any responsibility so I looked it up. I found the following website: http://www.infomerchant.net/creditcardprocessing/index.html
On it it says:
The Mastercard website also advises merchants to ensure the purchaser is the cardholder.
http://www.mastercard.com/ca/merchant/en/security/what_can_do/getting_started.html
Also, the credit card company did a no-no, they accepted a charge with the wrong expiry date. I had (just before the charges started appearing) activated a new card with a different expiry date. My son admitted he had taken my card information before the holidays, therefore before the updated expiry.
So even though my son did do wrong by using my credit card, this could have been stopped at the merchant level, and failing that at the credit card company level. Furthermore, I had put an online "PIN" on my card to prevent unauthorized use, which was not used, this would also have prevented my son from being able to actually make the purchases. I am disputing the charges. I had put safety measures in place that were not used and I feel the merchant DID NOT fulfill their responsibility by making sure I was indeed authorizing. I did call the merchant to file a complaint for allowing the purchase. They were quite cavalier about it and tried saying I was responsible for the purchase if I knew the person having made the purchase. I know my neighbour's kid, if he used my card would that make it legal and valid? NO. It being my son changes nothing.
Well thanks for reading!
They were all for Nintendo Games.
Well it does not take a genius to figure out where these stem from. Who in the house has an addiction to electronics and video games? Who tends to do things without permission and feels entitled.
My son. He took my credit card number and entered it into his game system. He then just had to click buy on credit card for all purchases. The purchases were done under his name.
This brought me to wondering. Of course my son is responsible for his actions. He should not have used my credit card without my knowledge or permission. I can't take the purchase away because the "game points" are already spent. I could take away the system, but rather it broke on warranty and I told him I would not be taking care of having it fixed as a punishment. I will also have his social worker and the school police officer speak to him about credit card fraud and theft.
But I got to wondering about the merchant responsibilities in all this. The purchase was being done under my son's name. The credit card is in my name. He is not an authorized user on my account. Sure we have the same last name, but not the same first name. If my surname was Smith or Jones a lot of people would have the same last name as me, does charging a purchase on a credit card with a different given name make the purchase valid?
Different people have different opinions on this one. There are those who say the only responsible person is my son (and he definitely holds the largest share of responsibility). Others say that only my son and I are responsible (me for having my credit card information not locked away but in my wallet, in my purse and leaving my purse unsupervised around my son). Well lesson learned, I will definitely be more careful from now on. It's definitely a sad state of affairs when I have to lock away my purse in my own home.
Few said that the merchant had some share of responsibility. I think the merchant is also partially responsible for accepting a credit card in the name of a person different from the purchaser without ensuring that the person who owns the credit card had provided authorization. They also allowed a 13 year old to make a purchase. Most did not agree that the merchant had any responsibility so I looked it up. I found the following website: http://www.infomerchant.net/creditcardprocessing/index.html
On it it says:
Fraud: The
Best Way to Avoid ChargebacksPreventing credit card losses is not only good for you, but it is also part of your responsibility. Here are some general guidelines on how to prevent fraud and avoid chargeback situations.• Make sure that the credit card is from the legitimate cardholder . . . Not just someone who knows the card number, or has stolen the actual card.• Verify signatures (for face-to-face transactions) on the card and on the receipt signed by the customer.• Take special care with non-magnetic transactions like telephone orders, mail orders or Internet orders.• Know your cardholder personally … if at all possible.• If applicable, use the Address Verification System and verify the Security Codes (also known as "Validation Codes") on the card (This prevents many pass-through fees).• Obtain a signed receipt from the cardholder and, if applicable, a signed proof of delivery from the shipper for delivered goods.• Protect your merchant ID and terminal ID so no one submits transactions without your permission.• Don't accept expired cards (or accept cards before the effective date!). The date shown on the card is the "good thru" date and is good through the last day of that month.
The Mastercard website also advises merchants to ensure the purchaser is the cardholder.
http://www.mastercard.com/ca/merchant/en/security/what_can_do/getting_started.html
Also, the credit card company did a no-no, they accepted a charge with the wrong expiry date. I had (just before the charges started appearing) activated a new card with a different expiry date. My son admitted he had taken my card information before the holidays, therefore before the updated expiry.
So even though my son did do wrong by using my credit card, this could have been stopped at the merchant level, and failing that at the credit card company level. Furthermore, I had put an online "PIN" on my card to prevent unauthorized use, which was not used, this would also have prevented my son from being able to actually make the purchases. I am disputing the charges. I had put safety measures in place that were not used and I feel the merchant DID NOT fulfill their responsibility by making sure I was indeed authorizing. I did call the merchant to file a complaint for allowing the purchase. They were quite cavalier about it and tried saying I was responsible for the purchase if I knew the person having made the purchase. I know my neighbour's kid, if he used my card would that make it legal and valid? NO. It being my son changes nothing.
Well thanks for reading!
January 16, 2012
Slowly Taking Shape
Another story about the big move.
Last weekend, as a result of my daughter expressing that "there was no more room" for the loads I kept bringing in, we decided to dedicate part of the weekend to unpack and place in the new house rather than pack and clean the old house as we usually do.
A little bit did get done in the old house anyway as it was garbage night on Sunday and well did have to gather up some of the garbage to put it out, and I also did some hole patching, curtain and shelf removing. Stuff that did not require making huge loads to the new house.
We did bring the Internet/phone/TV/cable stuff to the new house and the cable guy was coming to install.
Mostly though, we unpacked and placed in the new house.
The TV area is almost fully set up, missing a few figurines here and there but for the most part it is functional and the DVDs and VHS are almost all unpacked. By doing so, we reduced the amount of boxes stacked in the living room and made room for the sectional sofa to come in on the 21st.
My daughter changed the locks, so we now both have keys to the house.
We unpacked some boxes in the kitchen, so this made some room in the dining room for more stuff to come in... Still a few empty boxes in there, but empty boxes are easier to remedy.
We set up my son's bed in his room, moved the spare dryer to it's nook (which actually involved lifting the whole thing chest level to pass it through a narrow opening) and cleared the room where the chest freezer and large cabinet are going.
In the dining room we hung some stuff up, and we did the dishes.
So even without the large items, it's starting to look like "home" as we walk though the house, while the old house, even with the large items looks like home less and less.
Over the next three days I will concentrate on packing the old house, doing the laundry, cleaning the fridge and oven, emptying the freezer and thawing it out, making sure the washer is empty of water and hose disconnected, stuff like that.
On Friday I will need to take apart my sectional. If I bring anything anywhere, it will be items that go to second hand. Actually, I might bring in the goldfish so I can start cleaning the large aquarium. The temporary aquarium in the new house where the goldfish will go is almost ready, so there should be little shock. Also, if I can catch Valentine, I will also bring her so she can start the process of acclimatizing.
The worst of it is almost over. Soon it will be safe to crash....
Well thanks for reading!
Last weekend, as a result of my daughter expressing that "there was no more room" for the loads I kept bringing in, we decided to dedicate part of the weekend to unpack and place in the new house rather than pack and clean the old house as we usually do.
A little bit did get done in the old house anyway as it was garbage night on Sunday and well did have to gather up some of the garbage to put it out, and I also did some hole patching, curtain and shelf removing. Stuff that did not require making huge loads to the new house.
We did bring the Internet/phone/TV/cable stuff to the new house and the cable guy was coming to install.
Mostly though, we unpacked and placed in the new house.
The TV area is almost fully set up, missing a few figurines here and there but for the most part it is functional and the DVDs and VHS are almost all unpacked. By doing so, we reduced the amount of boxes stacked in the living room and made room for the sectional sofa to come in on the 21st.
My daughter changed the locks, so we now both have keys to the house.
We unpacked some boxes in the kitchen, so this made some room in the dining room for more stuff to come in... Still a few empty boxes in there, but empty boxes are easier to remedy.
We set up my son's bed in his room, moved the spare dryer to it's nook (which actually involved lifting the whole thing chest level to pass it through a narrow opening) and cleared the room where the chest freezer and large cabinet are going.
In the dining room we hung some stuff up, and we did the dishes.
So even without the large items, it's starting to look like "home" as we walk though the house, while the old house, even with the large items looks like home less and less.
Over the next three days I will concentrate on packing the old house, doing the laundry, cleaning the fridge and oven, emptying the freezer and thawing it out, making sure the washer is empty of water and hose disconnected, stuff like that.
On Friday I will need to take apart my sectional. If I bring anything anywhere, it will be items that go to second hand. Actually, I might bring in the goldfish so I can start cleaning the large aquarium. The temporary aquarium in the new house where the goldfish will go is almost ready, so there should be little shock. Also, if I can catch Valentine, I will also bring her so she can start the process of acclimatizing.
The worst of it is almost over. Soon it will be safe to crash....
Well thanks for reading!
January 13, 2012
Freezing rain + Flash Freeze
Freezing rain followed by a flash freeze often spells trouble.
For a person with FM and CFS in the middle of a move and starting her monthlies to boot, well this weather is certainly NOT a gift.
The day that I wrote my last post (after not doing anything productive the night before) I actually managed to be fairly productive when I got home. I caught the fish, took some water out, packed some bags and managed to fill up the back of the car (with back seat down) and bring it all over to the house.
I then took a nice DEEP bath in my new bathtub. I slept well that night.
Yesterday I did manage to pack a few boxes as a neighbour came to help. I also finished emptying and cleaning one of the aquariums. The gravel was very dirty. I am seriously considering an under gravel filter on top of the regular filter. The washroom and my bedroom are almost done. Due to inclement weather, I did NOT bring anything over to the new house so I have a car full tonight (and then some) My neighbour offered her car as well so we can make up for not bringing anything over last night.
On Monday my landlord is having the place visited again. Dear, I don't know WHY he is so insistent on renting out MY unit for February when he has so many currently empty and mine needs repairs anyway. I will need to have the place presentable again.
The movers want me to take out all drawers out of the dressers they will be moving (To charge more time going up and down stairs? They are billing me per hour @ $105.00 ) So I have been thinking of using the drawers as containers for some of the stuff I am moving. That way the drawers will already be moved. I have plenty of boxes but why not? At the very least, the drawers will be on the main floor.
So back to today and this weather.
Argh!
I am having a hard time holding a pen and typing. My hands hurt. Well most of my body hurts and I am hyper stimulated.
Earlier I went to the coffee shop where I work and there were three people conversing loudly (it seemed). Mixted with all the other regular sounds, it was too much. I was suffering. These three could have gone to the seating area next door to chat. They also happened to be in the way and people had to go around counters to get to the cash. Very inconsiderate of these people. One of them had already been told that he was blocking people.
Because it was so full, my co-worker went to wait for me in the Café area. When I went to join her, the buzz of many converstations, the two TVs, noise from the outside was too much!
I considered not coming to work today, but I had obligations I felt should not be cancelled at the last minute just because I did not feel well.
Turns out one of them cancelled on me and so far, no news from the other one.
I know I don't really have much sick time left. I also have no vacation time left
I may ask to leave early as I am really not feeling all that great. Go to the new house and take another hot deep bath.
Well thanks for reading.
For a person with FM and CFS in the middle of a move and starting her monthlies to boot, well this weather is certainly NOT a gift.
The day that I wrote my last post (after not doing anything productive the night before) I actually managed to be fairly productive when I got home. I caught the fish, took some water out, packed some bags and managed to fill up the back of the car (with back seat down) and bring it all over to the house.
I then took a nice DEEP bath in my new bathtub. I slept well that night.
Yesterday I did manage to pack a few boxes as a neighbour came to help. I also finished emptying and cleaning one of the aquariums. The gravel was very dirty. I am seriously considering an under gravel filter on top of the regular filter. The washroom and my bedroom are almost done. Due to inclement weather, I did NOT bring anything over to the new house so I have a car full tonight (and then some) My neighbour offered her car as well so we can make up for not bringing anything over last night.
On Monday my landlord is having the place visited again. Dear, I don't know WHY he is so insistent on renting out MY unit for February when he has so many currently empty and mine needs repairs anyway. I will need to have the place presentable again.
The movers want me to take out all drawers out of the dressers they will be moving (To charge more time going up and down stairs? They are billing me per hour @ $105.00 ) So I have been thinking of using the drawers as containers for some of the stuff I am moving. That way the drawers will already be moved. I have plenty of boxes but why not? At the very least, the drawers will be on the main floor.
So back to today and this weather.
Argh!
I am having a hard time holding a pen and typing. My hands hurt. Well most of my body hurts and I am hyper stimulated.
Earlier I went to the coffee shop where I work and there were three people conversing loudly (it seemed). Mixted with all the other regular sounds, it was too much. I was suffering. These three could have gone to the seating area next door to chat. They also happened to be in the way and people had to go around counters to get to the cash. Very inconsiderate of these people. One of them had already been told that he was blocking people.
Because it was so full, my co-worker went to wait for me in the Café area. When I went to join her, the buzz of many converstations, the two TVs, noise from the outside was too much!
I considered not coming to work today, but I had obligations I felt should not be cancelled at the last minute just because I did not feel well.
Turns out one of them cancelled on me and so far, no news from the other one.
I know I don't really have much sick time left. I also have no vacation time left
I may ask to leave early as I am really not feeling all that great. Go to the new house and take another hot deep bath.
Well thanks for reading.
January 11, 2012
Being in flux. Between homes
Hi.
Me again...
So last night I did not pack any boxes and I did not pack any bags
I did not vacuum or sweep. I did not do laundry or wash dishes.
I did not catch fishes to move to the new house, take water to transfer to new tanks or go cycle the tank.
I did not catch Valentine to move her.
I also did not bring anything to the new house.
I did nothing useful
I did watch TV
I did play games on the computer.
I did go to bed early but did not fall asleep and get rest.
Today I am more tired than ever, feel weaker than ever.
Tonight I should pack at LEAST three bags
Tonight I should pack at least 4 more boxes.
Tonight I should catch fishies and bring them over to the new house with a truck full of stuff
Tonight I should siphon some aquarium water to make the adjustment easier on the fish in the new house.
I should bring the boxes from upstairs over to new house.
Tonight I should catch up for what is did not do last night.
Only 20 days left.
Thanks for reading.
Me again...
So last night I did not pack any boxes and I did not pack any bags
I did not vacuum or sweep. I did not do laundry or wash dishes.
I did not catch fishes to move to the new house, take water to transfer to new tanks or go cycle the tank.
I did not catch Valentine to move her.
I also did not bring anything to the new house.
I did nothing useful
I did watch TV
I did play games on the computer.
I did go to bed early but did not fall asleep and get rest.
Today I am more tired than ever, feel weaker than ever.
Tonight I should pack at LEAST three bags
Tonight I should pack at least 4 more boxes.
Tonight I should catch fishies and bring them over to the new house with a truck full of stuff
Tonight I should siphon some aquarium water to make the adjustment easier on the fish in the new house.
I should bring the boxes from upstairs over to new house.
Tonight I should catch up for what is did not do last night.
Only 20 days left.
Thanks for reading.
January 9, 2012
The Move Part 1
So those of you have have been reading my blog know, I am moving.
The move in question is being done in several stages. Well last Saturday was one of those BIG stages. A moving truck and removing much of the boxes and furniture.
It did not go as well as anticipated.
One, I was not ready, all the boxes that needed to be packed and ready to go were not all packed. My daughter also did a lot of last minute packing.
Two, many of the people we were hoping and somewhat counting on did not show up, (but 4 who were not expected did help and that was a huge thing). Those that did show up worked very very hard and helped a lot. I appreciate that massively.
That morning, faced with all the stuff that was not done and ready, all the people who were not showing up, I had I was having a panic attack / meltdown.
We were only able to do 1.5 loads rather than two full loads because we ran out of people and energy. So more stuff to put in my car and bring over.
My daughter is now in the new house with A lot to do. The stove and fridge had been left dirty, and a friend cleaned it, but there is a lot of cleaning needed before unpacking and placing our furniture.
The old house still has a lot of work to do, maybe too much. The good part (???) is that I am having trouble sleeping, so that gives me a little more time to do stuff. I've been going to bed around midnight and getting up no later than 6 or so. This does give me an extra 2-3 hours a day. More folding, cleaning and packing can be done.
The landlord is having the unit visited to rent on the first of next month and there is pressuring to vacate early as there are repairs to be done. I am paid till the end of the month, I am taking till the end of the month.
I got pretty angry last week. The landlord had called to have the place visited on the Thursday (rather than the agreed Monday) and we tried to get the place presentable as it was 2 days to the move and we had not been focusing on the presentable part, we were planning on doing that Sunday. So we worked on the cleaning rather than packing. When he called to cancel the showing as he was sick, we stopped cleaning. HE SENT THE PEOPLE TO VISIT ANYWAY!
I was beside myself, but not much I could do. I did mention my landlord's bad track record at making repairs... but that's all. The city inspector came and said the mold was dry, so non toxic but also called the landlord to tell him he needed to fix it.
Well it's posted, people will keep coming even though he has several other EMPTY properties being offered.
But that is life, these interruptions are only delaying my actual leaving... Sometimes I think it's unfair to compare me with other people because my Karma or whatever you call it make me different from other people. Having so many people cancel at the last minute is definitely not what others go through, the various traumas, disabilities, everything is not what the average person goes through. When trying to help or treat me or my son, my Karma really should be taken more into consideration
Thanks for reading.
The move in question is being done in several stages. Well last Saturday was one of those BIG stages. A moving truck and removing much of the boxes and furniture.
It did not go as well as anticipated.
One, I was not ready, all the boxes that needed to be packed and ready to go were not all packed. My daughter also did a lot of last minute packing.
Two, many of the people we were hoping and somewhat counting on did not show up, (but 4 who were not expected did help and that was a huge thing). Those that did show up worked very very hard and helped a lot. I appreciate that massively.
That morning, faced with all the stuff that was not done and ready, all the people who were not showing up, I had I was having a panic attack / meltdown.
We were only able to do 1.5 loads rather than two full loads because we ran out of people and energy. So more stuff to put in my car and bring over.
My daughter is now in the new house with A lot to do. The stove and fridge had been left dirty, and a friend cleaned it, but there is a lot of cleaning needed before unpacking and placing our furniture.
The old house still has a lot of work to do, maybe too much. The good part (???) is that I am having trouble sleeping, so that gives me a little more time to do stuff. I've been going to bed around midnight and getting up no later than 6 or so. This does give me an extra 2-3 hours a day. More folding, cleaning and packing can be done.
The landlord is having the unit visited to rent on the first of next month and there is pressuring to vacate early as there are repairs to be done. I am paid till the end of the month, I am taking till the end of the month.
I got pretty angry last week. The landlord had called to have the place visited on the Thursday (rather than the agreed Monday) and we tried to get the place presentable as it was 2 days to the move and we had not been focusing on the presentable part, we were planning on doing that Sunday. So we worked on the cleaning rather than packing. When he called to cancel the showing as he was sick, we stopped cleaning. HE SENT THE PEOPLE TO VISIT ANYWAY!
I was beside myself, but not much I could do. I did mention my landlord's bad track record at making repairs... but that's all. The city inspector came and said the mold was dry, so non toxic but also called the landlord to tell him he needed to fix it.
Well it's posted, people will keep coming even though he has several other EMPTY properties being offered.
But that is life, these interruptions are only delaying my actual leaving... Sometimes I think it's unfair to compare me with other people because my Karma or whatever you call it make me different from other people. Having so many people cancel at the last minute is definitely not what others go through, the various traumas, disabilities, everything is not what the average person goes through. When trying to help or treat me or my son, my Karma really should be taken more into consideration
Thanks for reading.
January 6, 2012
Pet Peeves, or Things That Annoy Me
We all have those things that happen or other people do that really annoy or irritate us.
I, being bipolar and therefore easy to irritate obviously have my own list.
I also most likely do a whole bunch of stuff that massively irritate other people no doubt. (Interrupting is one of the biggest annoying things that I do. Sometimes I interrupt because the story I am hearing is a repetition or much too long, but there is still a much better way of handling the situations. I know there are more but.... enough for now)
So on to the list of stuff that annoys me.
I hate it when I am trying to get into an almost empty elevator and the person is standing in front of the door, not getting out. I also hate it when I get to my floor and need to get off but someone is standing right in front of the door blocking my way out (inside or outside)
The same goes for buses. I have had people step off buses and stop right there to light a smoke or look for something in a purse. I am right behind them and can't get off. I have rammed into people stopping just outside the door of a mall (to light up again). Why is it so hard to wait a second or two more until you have cleared the door? I used to be a smoker, I understand the urge, but come on, we are talking seconds here, not minutes or hours...
2. People who keep interrupting me (Ironic isn't it?)
Sure there are exceptions here too, if someone adds to a story or wants clarification of something I just said, sometimes the interruption is a good thing. There are people however who do not really listened to what you have to say and interrupt about:
3. People who take more than they need because it's "free".
You know these people, there is a bowl of samples and rather than take one, they will take like 10 or 15, while the next person in line doesn't get one. Even worst, the people of means who take supplies that have been made available for free or low cost to help the needy, and the needy winds up not having any.
I guess this could be defined as greed.
4. People who tell a depressed person to stop being so negative or tell them to shut up about their sadness. (This is VERY COMMON)
Depressed people need help and they need to be heard. To tell them to shut up and/or pretend everything is fine in essentially telling them it's OK to go and kill themselves. To turn away from them because they bring you down is in my opinion selfish and self-centered.
NOTE: I agree that some people do it for the drama and to be the centre of attention only. I have seen it. The first reaction should not be to ignore them or to tell them to stop. Investigate first, be caring until proven otherwise.
5. People who always say "Me and (whoever else it is that was with them)"
I was taught, in school that you always named yourself LAST. This was a grammatical RULE.
You are supposed to say "(Other person(s)) and me (or I depending)". At least I think it was a rule, I was taught it in school and we got slapped every time we put ourselves first.
I looked it up it was not grammar, it was etiquette...
I was wrong... but STILL, etiquette stated that it was a bad thing. In today's society most rules of etiquette and politeness have disappeared. People have taken the choice and putting themselves first not matter what and screw the rest.
I know I am not perfect... goodness knows I am not. The fact that I have few friends show that I am a person that is annoying. People don't like to be around me for definite reasons. People are not as prone to want to help me as they are others. The few friends I have I cherish and want to know how to keep them but being socially inadequate, I am completely clueless as to how to proceed to make these few friends happy and want to keep me around. The fact that I whine and complain all the time is no doubt largely to blame (Just like this... I know I know)
I do think that if the above, or what causes the above to happen were fixed, this world would be a much better place.
Well thanks for reading.
I, being bipolar and therefore easy to irritate obviously have my own list.
I also most likely do a whole bunch of stuff that massively irritate other people no doubt. (Interrupting is one of the biggest annoying things that I do. Sometimes I interrupt because the story I am hearing is a repetition or much too long, but there is still a much better way of handling the situations. I know there are more but.... enough for now)
So on to the list of stuff that annoys me.
- People who stand in front of doors.
I hate it when I am trying to get into an almost empty elevator and the person is standing in front of the door, not getting out. I also hate it when I get to my floor and need to get off but someone is standing right in front of the door blocking my way out (inside or outside)
The same goes for buses. I have had people step off buses and stop right there to light a smoke or look for something in a purse. I am right behind them and can't get off. I have rammed into people stopping just outside the door of a mall (to light up again). Why is it so hard to wait a second or two more until you have cleared the door? I used to be a smoker, I understand the urge, but come on, we are talking seconds here, not minutes or hours...
2. People who keep interrupting me (Ironic isn't it?)
Sure there are exceptions here too, if someone adds to a story or wants clarification of something I just said, sometimes the interruption is a good thing. There are people however who do not really listened to what you have to say and interrupt about:
- stuff that is totally irrelevant to the conversation, or
- to ask a question that you have JUST answered (had they listened), or
- to ask question after question about stuff you would be getting to if they just shut up and listened.
3. People who take more than they need because it's "free".
You know these people, there is a bowl of samples and rather than take one, they will take like 10 or 15, while the next person in line doesn't get one. Even worst, the people of means who take supplies that have been made available for free or low cost to help the needy, and the needy winds up not having any.
I guess this could be defined as greed.
4. People who tell a depressed person to stop being so negative or tell them to shut up about their sadness. (This is VERY COMMON)
Depressed people need help and they need to be heard. To tell them to shut up and/or pretend everything is fine in essentially telling them it's OK to go and kill themselves. To turn away from them because they bring you down is in my opinion selfish and self-centered.
NOTE: I agree that some people do it for the drama and to be the centre of attention only. I have seen it. The first reaction should not be to ignore them or to tell them to stop. Investigate first, be caring until proven otherwise.
5. People who always say "Me and (whoever else it is that was with them)"
I was taught, in school that you always named yourself LAST. This was a grammatical RULE.
You are supposed to say "(Other person(s)) and me (or I depending)". At least I think it was a rule, I was taught it in school and we got slapped every time we put ourselves first.
I looked it up it was not grammar, it was etiquette...
A common ungrammatical dialectal construct in U.S. English is "Me and Maureen ate all our kohlrabi." Grammarians who try to write rules for language rather than describe the ones that are already there, "prescriptive grammarians," found two problems with such constructions. First, the Subject contains an Object pronoun: "me." Second, the placement of "me" before the name of someone else was at one time considered impolite. Of course, politesse has nothing to do with grammar, that is, what is right or wrong in speech.
The result is that prescriptive grammar books used in U.S. schools for years have taught children to avoid constructions like "me and X" in favor of "X and I," where "X" represents any other noun or pronoun referring to a human being. They seldom make clear that this rule applies only in the Subject position. The critical grammatical rule, that "I" appears only in the Subject while "me" must be used in all Object positions gets lost in the concern for etiquette.
I was wrong... but STILL, etiquette stated that it was a bad thing. In today's society most rules of etiquette and politeness have disappeared. People have taken the choice and putting themselves first not matter what and screw the rest.
I know I am not perfect... goodness knows I am not. The fact that I have few friends show that I am a person that is annoying. People don't like to be around me for definite reasons. People are not as prone to want to help me as they are others. The few friends I have I cherish and want to know how to keep them but being socially inadequate, I am completely clueless as to how to proceed to make these few friends happy and want to keep me around. The fact that I whine and complain all the time is no doubt largely to blame (Just like this... I know I know)
I do think that if the above, or what causes the above to happen were fixed, this world would be a much better place.
Well thanks for reading.
January 5, 2012
Cloning Technology.
So I am getting pretty desperate here. I want to have a clone or two of myself, but not of now, of when I was 27 or so.
This move is going to happen but it will kill me.
Well kill may be an overstatement.
I can't wait until we are in the new house and nothing is left to do in the old house (i.e. February)
I know a lot will be lost (like the stuff outside that is frozen to the ground, it is very cold in Canada right now) but at least it will be over.
OK not quite as unpacking, cleaning and painting will still need to be done, but there will not be an urgency for that part, I can take years to complete it if necessary.
Now there is an urgency and all my possessions have to be removed from the old house by a certain date. Cleaning and possibly painting also has to be done by that date.
Trust me the magnitude of the necessary work is massively daunting for a person with Fibromyalgia who has a sprained (yes still) ankle.
The reason the ankle is still sprained is that full recovery keeps getting post-poned by mini sprains which keep occurring. Now I think I have developed something called Anterior Ankle Impingement (well maybe not, but the pain is similar) Makes negotiating stairs very difficult.
This is further complicated by the fact that the stress is making my heart rate go a bazillion miles per minute and I am always out of breath, this need to keep going up and down the stairs is totally exhausting me.
Now I think I am in what is termed as a "crash" in Fibroworld. Crash is where you fall apart. Maybe it happens just as the last guest is leaving; maybe it happens just as the turkey gets carved. You CRASH and loose all sense of reason. Sometimes it's a long crash, like sliding your face 50 ft. across a gravel road before you come to a complete stop.
Then you burn, or Flare; sometimes for days. You feel like you're coming down with the flu, your muscles ache beyond reason and you are completely unfit for company. Lock the door and throw away the key.
But in my situation I can't stop, I can't rest, there is too much to do, too little time.
I have to keep going to work, I have to keep packing and cleaning. I don't know what I will do on moving day. I just do 2 carloads WITH help, not even having to carry things up and down stairs and I can barely handle it.
As I write this I am so tired, in so much pain, but only 1/2 of my day is done. My hands and feet are swollen. I still have 30 minutes before going home. I feel like I am in the middle of a serious flu. I am freezing, then sweating, I sneeze, my throat is sore.
I know this sounds like a whine fest. Yes I am whining....
Maybe tonight I will take a long hot bath then go to bed rather than do what I am supposed to do.
Maybe taking tonight off will mean I can do move on moving day (this Saturday) Maybe I will go take the bath in the NEW EXTRA DEEP bathtub for full effect
Soak the aches and pains away. Then rest. Maybe I will take off work early tomorrow to catch up on the missed last minute packing.
Maybe, we'll see.
Thanks for reading.
This move is going to happen but it will kill me.
Well kill may be an overstatement.
I can't wait until we are in the new house and nothing is left to do in the old house (i.e. February)
I know a lot will be lost (like the stuff outside that is frozen to the ground, it is very cold in Canada right now) but at least it will be over.
OK not quite as unpacking, cleaning and painting will still need to be done, but there will not be an urgency for that part, I can take years to complete it if necessary.
Now there is an urgency and all my possessions have to be removed from the old house by a certain date. Cleaning and possibly painting also has to be done by that date.
Trust me the magnitude of the necessary work is massively daunting for a person with Fibromyalgia who has a sprained (yes still) ankle.
The reason the ankle is still sprained is that full recovery keeps getting post-poned by mini sprains which keep occurring. Now I think I have developed something called Anterior Ankle Impingement (well maybe not, but the pain is similar) Makes negotiating stairs very difficult.
This is further complicated by the fact that the stress is making my heart rate go a bazillion miles per minute and I am always out of breath, this need to keep going up and down the stairs is totally exhausting me.
Now I think I am in what is termed as a "crash" in Fibroworld. Crash is where you fall apart. Maybe it happens just as the last guest is leaving; maybe it happens just as the turkey gets carved. You CRASH and loose all sense of reason. Sometimes it's a long crash, like sliding your face 50 ft. across a gravel road before you come to a complete stop.
Then you burn, or Flare; sometimes for days. You feel like you're coming down with the flu, your muscles ache beyond reason and you are completely unfit for company. Lock the door and throw away the key.
But in my situation I can't stop, I can't rest, there is too much to do, too little time.
I have to keep going to work, I have to keep packing and cleaning. I don't know what I will do on moving day. I just do 2 carloads WITH help, not even having to carry things up and down stairs and I can barely handle it.
As I write this I am so tired, in so much pain, but only 1/2 of my day is done. My hands and feet are swollen. I still have 30 minutes before going home. I feel like I am in the middle of a serious flu. I am freezing, then sweating, I sneeze, my throat is sore.
I know this sounds like a whine fest. Yes I am whining....
Maybe tonight I will take a long hot bath then go to bed rather than do what I am supposed to do.
Maybe taking tonight off will mean I can do move on moving day (this Saturday) Maybe I will go take the bath in the NEW EXTRA DEEP bathtub for full effect
Soak the aches and pains away. Then rest. Maybe I will take off work early tomorrow to catch up on the missed last minute packing.
Maybe, we'll see.
Thanks for reading.
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