You are never given more than you can handle...

Seriously?

By a raise of hands, how many people have heard this one?

I understand that it's loving people who say that because they have confidence in your inner strength and they want to let you know that you CAN do this...

I understand that that is the true message.

But it's not very true.  If this was true, the suicide rate would be much much lower than it is.  The world would not be fraught with so much incompetence...

Two days ago, I was having a bad day.  I was not feeling well and things were not going well at work.  Well to be honest, things generally do not go well at work these days.  On the bus, on the way home, I was just feeling so very depleted.  Telling myself that I was just so grateful that the day was over and I could go home and just take it easy.

When I got home, I saw a "new" video game system.  It was second had but new to our house, with a note from my son telling us to not touch his system.

My son was not allowed to have one of these systems, he did not have the money to purchase this system, and through investigation I was to find out that he had stolen the system.             Oh Boy!

He wasn't home, but he did come home from a friend's house a little while later.  As soon as he got in the house I noticed that he was "unstable".

What do I mean by unstable?  It means that he is in a place where logic can't reach him.  There is a sense of violence that surrounds him.  Anything that is said to him he will take as an insult and an assault and react accordingly.  When he is like this you must steer clear and be careful with your approach.  It doesn't mean he gets a get out of jail free card, but if touchy stuff can be put to later, then it should, other stuff needs to be handled with a special approach.

I made a joke about the cats being starving because they had ripped their bag of kibbles open and he flipped.  He started yelling at me that I was using him as a slave , that he did everything around the house (seriously, he doesn't even come close).  I used my loud "cop" booming voice to say his name, and once he shut up, explained the joke and the intent.  This calmed him down somewhat but he was still very agitated..

When his sister came come a short time later, he got the catalyst he was waiting for.  He immediately picked a fight with her regarding the game system.  His using of the game system involved appropriating his sister gaming supplies, her remotes, her games.  He was not asking her, he was informing her in a loud and disrespectful, and somewhat threatening way that he had taken her stuff and it was his now.  (This is a habit he had of taking things that belong to other people and appropriating it.  While he has those things, he refuses to return them, and abuses the items up to often breaking them and often loses or gets the them stolen)

My daughter , knowing exactly what this meant, and having spent a great deal of her hard earned money on the gaming items my son had taken, tried to take them back, telling him that he could not just do that, that he needed to ask and respect her answers, that he needed to earn the privilege of using her things by not being disrespectful, but not breaking, stealing etc. etc.

My daughter is not as tuned in to my son's instability as I am, and when she gets wrapped up in emotions (as one would with being faced with these types of circumstances on a regular basis) she can be like a bulldog and not let go.

My son lost it, had a meltdown, flew into a rage, became violent.  He turned on his sister vocally and physically.  He started throwing things, smashing things. destroying things.  He attacked my daughter, threw stuff at her, definitely with the seeming intent of hurting her.  He wanted to remove her as a barrier to what he wanted and what he felt he deserved to have.  At that moment in time, he was going to remove her at any cost.

Part of training to be a cop is learning to assess the severity of a situation.  In this case, he needed containment from an external source to protect my daughter and I.  I told my daughter to get out.  My daughter did not want to leave the house.  She wanted to protect her things and her mother.  Since I have gotten sick (FM & CFS), my daughter has named herself my protector.  It's not her job to protect me, I must protect her.  This is a very difficult thing to handle.

Meanwhile, I called the police.  (I called the non emergency number but they told me this type of situation did qualify for a 911).  It took the police no more than 10 minutes to get there.  In that time, my son was able to destroy a great many things.  He was able to destroy my daughter's locked bedroom door, go inside her room, grab her laptop, smash her laptop and throw it out at her through the window.  The police witnessed the laptop flying out the window in the direction of my daughter.

The police came and spoke to my son, took a history of the situation and agreed with me that my son needed to be brought to a stabilization unit for my daughter and my safety. They recorded the destruction of the house.  We contacted the Crisis Centre, and the police spoke to them to explain that my son needed to be brought there.  This is important because the last time my son had "lost it"  I had called the Crisis Centre and they had refused to take my son in.  Having the police explain to them the severity of the problem rather than a "hysterical mom" made things easier.  (Side note, I don't think the cops would tag me as hysterical, maybe concerned and worried, but not hysterical.  Pretty good for unmedicated exhausted bipolar huh?)

The policed cuffed my son and drove him to the Crisis Centre.  I grabbed my son's necessities (That I could find) and followed them.  I stopped by a neighbours where my daughter had gone to see how she was going before leaving to register my son at the centre (The Crisis Centre is for Youth and is attached to a Mental Centre/Hospital).

My son will be there for 3 to 5 days.  He is not happy and wants to bully his way home.  I will be meeting with someone to figure a strategy to make my son not do these things.  It looks like I will have to find another place for my daughter to live for a little while, until Steele is no longer a danger to her.

This is not the first time my son flips out,  I have been trying for quite some time to get adequate services for all three of us.  It's not easy.  I have paid for services but I can't afford that many.  I have been getting the run around for quite some time.  Many say I should just surrender my son to Child protective services.  I am trying to find a better solution for HIM. 

Well thanks for reading and wish me luck!